Depression

[DEL53]

Diagnosed with Colorectal cancer late 2022 at 68 when completely fit with no issues. Since then have had 3 major operations, 2 were 13 hours, lost rectum, bladder, had full hysterectomy, left sciatic nerve cancer damaged resulting in little feeling in left leg and drop foot requiring a brace and walker for mobility. I have 2 permanent bags, stoma and urostomy and now cancer has spread to my liver which involves ongoing chemo fortnightly probably for the rest of my life. My husband is 83 and disabled and I used to be his carer but know he is trying to care for me which is difficult in my depressed state. Our previous enjoyment was sea cruising but we cannot do that anymore and any form of holiday is difficult these days due to my issues. I know some must be worse off but hard to carry on.

[Miranda_ccnsw]

Hi @DEL53 , sharing what's going on for you here in the community is a great way to process things. You've had a long hard journey so far facing so much adversity. Navigating your surgery and the treatment journey has shown huge strength, courage and resilience. It must be hard for your husband also. Taking things one day at a time is a strategy I hear so many people say helps - a strategy you have very likely mastered now. 

Please know you can also call 13 11 20 and chat to one of health professionals about support options that are available to you - they are there Monday to Friday during NSW business hours. 

For others in the community - how have you coped on your long treatment journey?

Take care

Miranda CCNSW

[Glad-Literature]

Going through repeated treatment, losing independence and then learning that the cancer has spread can leave anyone feeling completely drained. After my own treatment, I also struggled with how different life had become and felt guilty watching my partner take on things I once managed.

What helped was speaking honestly about my low mood and accepting support instead of trying to carry everything alone. We also began finding smaller things to enjoy together, such as sitting outside, watching travel programmes or taking a short drive on better days. They did not replace our old life, but they gave us something gentle to look forward to. Have you been able to tell anyone in your care team how difficult things feel emotionally?

[Scary_Position4]

I think that is worth talking about with their care team. Being open about depression or feeling emotionally overwhelmed may help them access counselling, emotional support, mobility assistance, or practical help at home. Their husband may also need support, because this kind of change can affect both partners.

It might also help to connect with others who understand long-term cancer treatment and the loss of independence that can come with it. For that, Uhapo Health Services offers cancer-related guidance and patient support that may help them feel less alone and better informed.

Most importantly, they should not feel that they have to compare their struggles with anyone else’s. What they are feeling is real, and it deserves support.