Hello all,
I am taking one day at a time, within the roller coaster of grief.
Recently had a job interview (but did not get job), will continue to apply for and find a job.
I also have started back at uni, giving me something to do with my mind and hands.
Lorraine, as for the cancer moving through the body, GBM is only a brain cancer, as the only place where Glio cells are is in the brain. You know the old saying that we only use 10% of our brain, well the rest tend to be Glio cells which help the brain function. These cells in some people (our loved ones) misfire and form GBM tumors.
The black stools, I agree do indicate old blood, which means there is an issue with bowels, which will require investigation. It can be because the tumors in the brain have been blocking or interfering with functions in the bowels/body. The reason our loved ones have so many issues with their bodies is due to the impact of tumor in brain (moving the brain around to allow the tumor to grow, not a lot of growing room in the brain, so the brain squashes itself to make room, which then impacts on the body). Apparently there can be secondary cancers associated with GBM which can come out due to treatment (radiation and chemo), also the chance of another form of brain cancer can develop.
Kim, I understand the feeling, there will be more times in the future that you will feel the same. All I can say is find the positive (no matter how small, a smile, a hug) every day and use the positive as a lifeline, I found if I allowed to much to cramp my mind I would become empty, and overwhelmed with emotions, I found when I looked for and enjoyed the positives that life (for the short term) was good. I enjoyed every moment with Pieter, I made sure I was always happy (that was hard and a few times can crashing) when I was with him. Even when Pieter was dying I spoke in a positive way (all about love, how we would be okay) even though my insides were screaming (this is not happening). This is all about making the journey for our loved ones as happy and pleasant as possible.
I agree that this is a shitty cancer, just taking away the ones we love, with minimal opportunity for remission, to give us the opportunity of time. You all are in my thoughts daily.
All my love
Carolien