OK, i will start the ball rolling for the intro's....
Your name: Nikki
Where do you live? in a small town in northern NSW called Murwillumbah
How does cancer affect you? I was diagnosed with a childhood form of leukaemia at age 28 in 2002. I spent 1 and a half years at the RMH on a 54 week chemo high risk protocol. The time that I spent in this hospital was life changing. I came from a family who had no history of illness. Before I became ill, I was very naive to the fact that so many people had to live a life with debilitating illness or injury. All of a sudden I was thrown into this world not knowing if I would ever have a normal life again. One of the hardest adjustments I had to make was actually learning to do nothing after leading such an active and young life. It was extremely hard for me to lie in a hospital bed and think of how my friends are just continuing with their lives on the outside.
Unfortunately I saw that some patients in hospital had no one to care for them, and they simply did not survive. I was lucky; I had someone from my family at my bedside every single day I was in hospital. I truly believe my family’s support and love helped me to remain strong and gave me the will to live. Probably one of the hardest parts of living in hospital was meeting the patients who became my dear friends and did not survive. I now live life with a level of guilt of why did I survive and they did not? Another great difficulty was feeling alone because often I was surrounded by older patients who I just could not relate too. Many were way, way old, nearing the end of a long and productive life, and willing to die. Me on the other hand… I very much wanted to live my life and felt so ripped off and that it was unfair that I may not have the chance to do so. Even if I did, it appeared to me at the time that I was not going to be living the exciting life I once had. These are driving forces behind me wanting advocate and to do something with a relatively normal life I am fortunate to have after cancer.
Because my treatment was 1 and a half years in RMH and another 1 and a half years recovering from the treatment, I was absent from mainstream society for nearly 3 years. Slowly I learnt to take negatives situations in life and produce or turn them into positives. I came out of my illness with a new view to life. During my illness I questioned things like: we all work way too much – life is not about work; life is about family, relationships, love; we all need to slow down and enjoy what’s around us as it doesn’t last; life is limited so why not make the most of it. But my new found views on life I was soon to discover were in opposition to the world outside. It was hard to fit back in to the outside world, as society just seemed so fast-paced and on a different wave-length to me. Everything in those 3 years in the outside world just seemed to speed up. Real-estate prices went skyrocketing. 50km and 40km driving zones were introduced in this time. Men starting dressing better than women, doing their hair and wearing pink! It was all a bit of a culture shock to begin.
I soon realised that as I physically recovered my emotions were catching up with me. I came crashing down in a heap, I became angry and I often lashed out at those I loved. I was worried that my emotional stability – or lack of it was going to cause my cancer to come back. I knew I needed professional help to deal with these emotions, but I searched and searched and could not find anything. Yes there were support groups, but once again I got the feeling of being alone by going to them, as the majority of participants in those groups were either way too old or had breast cancer and just I felt left out.
Ever since my diagnosis, I have been on a constant and perpetual hunt for support services for someone of my age who has had cancer. I keep finding all these services out there for younger people (kids, teens) and older adults. I can see great cancer support organisations specifically for Young Adults up the age of 40 years operating overseas. I have been continually questioning myself as to why we can’t have similar organisations here in Australia? I have now taken some actions in answering this question... AND HERE WE ARE!
What brings you to this group? The need to meet other young people affected by cancer and to have a place to share everything and anything.
What would you like to gain from a group like this? Connection, creativity, friends and support.
Any other comments? A BIG thanks to the Cancer Council NSW for listening to all my pestering about the lack of support for YACs and then helping us by setting up services like this 🙂 you guys rock!
