Newly diagnosed, coping through helping others

[DV]

Hi all, A year ago I injured my spine, and have recently had disc replacement surgery. As a result of some complications I had some scans which lead to further testing and I was diagnosed with a rare type of thyroid cancer last Thursday. While I am still coming to terms with my diagnosis and impact on my future, one of my biggest concerns is helping my parents and my husband cope, after what has already been a very trying twelve months. I know everyone deals with things in their own way, and have told them all to communicate their needs with me, but my folks live in the uk, and my husband has never been communicative in emotional things. I am only 29 and we don't have a family yet, and to be honest this is what is causing me the most anxiety. I am looking for advice on things that make the journey easier for those who care but feel they can't do anything to help, advice on the Diffuse Sclerosis Variant of Thyroid cancer, and the opportunity to support others going through a difficult time with their diagnosis as I have a lot of love and positivity to share. I wish you all the very best, and have already been inspired by some of the stories I have read here, so thank you all for sharing. D

[#2]

Hi DV, Thanks for sharing your story, we hope you are finding Cancer Connections of benefit. There are also a number of current community members in similar situations that you may like to contact or connect with: www.cancerconnections.com.au/users/wasdedye www.cancerconnections.com.au/users/mel75thycanc Our Carer Resources may also be of interest to you and your family: www.cancerconnections.com.au/content/information-carers-0 Kind regards, Felix Cancer Connections Admin Team

[maddie86]

hi there.... my husband was diagnosed with stage four bowl cancer at age 22. Sadly he passed away at 25. It was a struggle and he wasnt very open about his cancer. He kept it all bottled up and used to have bouts of bad anger. A list of things which i found helpful Watching funny movies together Making sure you both get time to go on special dates Take care of yourself, go paint your nails, get a facial or a massage. Find a good book. I found reading about other ppls struggles with cancer very helpful. Jim stynes, patrick swayze's book... Try and see your friends when you feel well Take up a meditation class and try and eat healhty.. i believe diet has a lot to do with it! Have a nice hot bath with lots of candles and a glass of wine cancer is no fun! we had the same struggle. he never wanted to save his sperm and we argued a lot about it. He didnt see it as impotant where as i wanted children my whole life. Can you save your eggs? Make sure you discuss all this with your drs. Please PM me if you need a chat 🙂 x

[DV]

Maddie, Thank you so much for your reply and the helpful suggestions, and I am sorry to hear of a life lost so young... I will definitely take your comments on board and try to make sure that my husband does stuff to help his emotional wellbeing during this time too. I will have radiation therapy in August and I believe I will have to wait at least a year to start trying for a family, it is still my biggest concern and while the Drs have said it should be ok I think I might go see a fertility specialist anyway. I have had a bad run of health issues and want a specialists opinion to make sure we have the best chance of still having a family. Everyone seems to be trying to protect me by not talking about my diagnosis, or how they feel, but I am coping very well (far better than I would have expected) and I just need them to open up a bit more, but at the same time don't want to make them feel that they are dealing with it incorrectly as there isn't a right way... Communication is so important to me and I am finding that hard. I have people in my life bottling up their emotions and then having mini emotional breakdowns, (not anger as you experienced with your husband) but I just want to help them deal with these intense emotions. Thank you again for your advice and for being a sympathetic ear, it does help to verbalise all of this, and it means a lot to have this support available, so thank you for being here 🙂