l can't move on since finishing my treatment in March

[uneq59]

Hi My name is Janet lm 56 years young. l was diagnosed last October with lung cancer, l had surgery removing part of the lung followed by chemo and radiotherapy. My issue is l for some reason just can't move forward. 25 years ago l had breast cancer and did not experience any of this. l feel like lm dying from the inside, l feel nothing, l have no emotional feelings, although at times lm a blubbering mess, mentally lm going crazy trying to find the old me, l feel like lm giving up when lm not. Cancer thoughts rarely leave my mind, l have put on 20 kg since starting treatment which is adding to the depression more, lm on anti depressants/anxiety meds they help sometimes but not others. l feel l have lost ME, l have booked a appointment at the end of the month with a psychologist.... until then any advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers Janet

[little_stitcher]

Hi Janet, I went through something similar after my husband went into remission from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I just couldn't get past what had happened. I saw a psychologist too, and it was really helpful. (I was incidently diagnosed with a lifelong anxiety disorder as well.) One of the strategies I learned, which helped me the most, was to practice mindfulness. This means concentrating on what is happening right now- what can you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? This is especially good during times of acute anxiety, as anxiety is usually based in some mythical(terrible) future. Another good trick I found (by accident!) when my emotions are spiralling out of control, is to write with my non-dominant hand- it's basically an easy way to become mindful, because you really have to concentrate! Write whatever you like- your name, the alphabet, a shopping list, copy out a paragraph from a book-anything will get your mind off your thoughts, and onto the movements of your hand on the page. I hope this helps a bit. Please let me know how you go. love and hugs, Emily

[uneq59]

Hi Emily Thank you very much for your reply,l try to do mindfulness but my mind races to much. l just have no idea what to do next in my life, l have just closed my business due to the lack of concentration so this has caused enormous stress as well, my partner of 10 years l feel l don't love anymore he is so kind gentle and most of the time understanding, in 10 years we have never had a argument or raised our voices so why am l questioning? Part of me just doesn't want to be here anymore, this is so sad as l have 3 children and 7 grandchildren and it is for them l try and stay strong. l will try the writing and see how this goes, Thank you. Hope your husband is recovering and all is well there xx

[little_stitcher]

My husband is really well, Janet. He's currently training for Around the Bay in Day, and the Ride to Conquer Cancer, both in October. He rediscovered his love of cycling last year, and can't be stopped! He's been in remission for 4 years so far, and is currently healthier than he has been for the last 15 years. I'm really sorry you're feeling so sad. I don't really have any short term tips for dealing with depression- I've had more experience with anxiety. Be gentle with yourself though- you've been through a huge thing. Emily x

[GHT]

Hi Janet I too put on weight during treatment with hormone progesterone and also struggled with feeing depressed esp as lost best friend thru cancer. I have just started walking and lawn bowls and and am 54 yo. I think feeling stuck can be a physical as well as emotional thing as I spent a lot of this year lying on my bed. Maybe it would be helpful to just pick 1 or 2 things you can do requiring movement of some kind. Once I force myself to go for a walk the day feels just a little more manageable and gives me sense I am doing at least one thing I can feel good about myself for doing. It sounds like you have certainly had a tough time with cancer and I hope counselling is helpful so you can vent and explore new ways of being you. Best wishes GHT

[koala]

Hi Janet, It's kind of inevitable to think about cancer about 90% of your time especially at the beginning. That would drain you emotionally, mentally and physically. It did happen to me and I believe it happens to everybody. There are several coping strategies that I saw: Turn to religion turn to meditation turn to natural remedies turn to exercise turn to diet turn to healthy food including things like juices natural extracts etc turn to learning about the disease turn to violence turn to denial turn to things most people will label weird stuff Most important is to restore your peace of mind to some acceptable level so pretty much all of these will help in that respect. Most of these will have no medical impact but the mental impact will be great and that will yield physical benefits. Another important thing that few people will tell you is that most likely nothing you did caused the cancer because to a good extent cancer is inevitable. Anybody telling you differently is ignorant or ill intentioned in the matter in my opinion and that is based on my research. All the best, Koala