I wonder how common it is but I find some family members to be far less supportive and empathetic than I had expected. There are supportive words and there were offers of help when I went through treatment, some which I am extremely grateful for being followed through.
It doesn't help that I am not good at asking for help but help isn't always about doing stuff, in my opinion it's about showing up sometimes just to be company or calling to check in. I didn't think I'd need to ask for that, I thought that would happen naturally.
I found as time went on certain family members didn't even bother to check in for the purpose of asking about how I was going or whats happening thus far, I feel like when I bring up my cancer or treatment the empathy is lacking, sort of like they're not really invested in listening or learning to how this has affected me. I get the sense that some of them want to avoid the topic because it may upset them.
When others have mentioned or compared my cancer to someone elses, especially those that are worse, even though they meant well in a positive way, it was offensive to me because I felt like they were invalidating and undermining my personal experience. If they took the time to listen they would understand the complexity and that there are so many factors within each individuals journey.
I am a very positive person so I don't complain constantly and I try to be optimistic, it's not like I'm constantly trying to talk about my illness and shove it down everyones throat. Me being positive doesn't mean that I don't need support or have bad days. Sigh.
I hope that if one of my family members gets a serious illness that I can do better than some of them have because I wouldn't want them to feel as lonely as some of them have made me feel
