Living Life Alone post cancer


Living Life Alone post cancer

I’m a survivor now (thank God)  and I’m very grateful for my second chance at life. However, things that I never thought about before or during cancer are never far from my mind these days. It can be a lonely life for some I guess.  

Sex (actual intercourse) is very painful for me now.  I don’t produce much, if any, estrogen these days so that just adds to the problem.  However, I still miss being in a relationship.  Very much in fact. I still crave intimacy and companionship (kissing, foreplay, cuddling, etc) but when actual intercourse is so painful- how do you find someone to build a relationship with?  It’s not like it’s an easy topic to bring up when “dating”.  Especially in this day and age when people are jumping into bed after just a date or two.  

so, I’ve been single now for a decade. I’ve had some dates and even some “encounters” with an old “friend” but I want more.  I want a relationship and a life that I can build with someone.  I’m tired of the questions from people about why I don’t date. I’m tired of my mother worrying about me being alone for the rest of my life.  I’ve always been the one who never had to worry about not having a date for a special occasion.  I had a healthy sex and intimate life and have even been married before and engaged as well to another person after my marriage ended.  

I’m young still (47) and the thought of living a life of solitude forever is not something I want to experience.  I have big dreams and try to find the positive in things just like I’m doing here.  At least I’m alive and I’m grateful for that.   There were many times I almost didn’t make it and the fact that I did is a miracle in and of itself.  So maybe I’ll find another miracle one day and not have to journey through this life single forever.  I have a lot of love to give and am not willing to give up just yet.  



Super Contributor

Re: Living Life Alone post cancer

Hi JoCee

Having your dreams is a good thing ,you are a cancer survivor  a great positive,and who knows what the future can bring or what lies around the corner ,hopefully you find what you are looking for in a person and life, yes you are still young with time to find the relationship wanted good luck.

New Contributor

Re: Living Life Alone post cancer

I understand your problem with intimacy and there  are some very straightforward options you can try.


Have you tried using a generous amount of a lubricant such as KY Gell. It is watermarked and recommended by chemists.

Another option is to use a good quality water based massage oil

 It can be used to start with during foreplay and then as part of foreplay lead down to your clitoris and vaginal passage. This will add a new dimension to your intimacy. 


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