Hi Mary,
I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope the surgery went smoothly and you are recovering well.
I’m very happy to help in anyway I can, I understand it’s a very scary time and not knowing what to expect can be very overwhelming.
Cancer is an incredibly difficult thing to go though and it’s completely ok to not feel ok!
You’re probably finding lots of well meaning people telling you to stay positive and offer advice but now is a time for you to be a bit selfish. Try to surround yourself with things you find helpful and uplifting at this time. I found during my treatment that some people just aren’t great with knowing what to say. I understand it was difficult for them also, they had the best of intentions and meant no harm but their words could be (unknowingly to them) triggering to me. I wouldn’t say anything to these people because I didn’t want to make them feel bad or fearful of upsetting me but I also knew I had to protect my own mental health. So there were certain people I opened up to and others I did not discuss anything cancer related with. If they tried I’d just say I prefer to talk about something else and they’d be fine with this. You’ll develop your own way to manage this if it’s an issue but my point is just to look after and protect your mental health because it’s just as important as your physical.
I’m not sure how much you know about chemotherapy but it’s a very tailored treatment these days. Your oncologist will work out the best treatment for you and monitor you closely throughout the process. There are hundreds of different types of chemotherapy drugs out there, it’s not a one size fits all approach anymore, chemotherapy is very different these days. Pharmaceuticals companies are constantly working to improve existing chemotherapy medication and make new ones to improve side effects and treatment outcomes. Even people with the same type and stage of cancer might be on different combinations and dosages depending on their age and health etc. You might also be taking the same chemotherapy drug as someone you’ve read about online but remember pharmaceutical companies are constantly working to improve these medications so since that individual went through their treatment that drug as probably undergone a lot more testing and improvements (this was information I was told by my doctor). If you do experience any side effects be sure to tell your oncologist because they can probably do something to help you.
And if your doctor prescribes you medication to help with side effects be sure to follow their advice as taking the prescribed medicine, at the correct dosage and recommended time can all have an affect and result in a much smoother treatment.
It’s also good to talk with your GP about things that you might not have time to discuss with your oncologist. I was able to discuss things like anxiety, low moods and difficulty sleeping with my GP and she was really helpful.
A wise friend of mine who was also going through treatment gave me some great advice and that was to keep a side effect diary.
Record things like:
- what you experienced
- What day in the cycle
- Duration
It makes it easier to recall when you go back for your routine checks with the oncologist.
You might find you have to take a few different types of medications, so I also found it helpful to make myself a checklist. I listed all the medications I was taking (Monday to Sunday) and Id just tick them off as I went.
Cancer doesn’t discriminate, it can affect anyone and that means you have lots of different people with different personalities, who deal with it in different ways and like to express themselves differently, putting their own personal experiences and advice out there for others. But there is no right or wrong way to cope, you do what you need to do to get yourself through this time!!
Unfortunately there is a lot of distressing information out there about cancer treatment which can be extremely off putting for people beginning their journey. I almost didn’t go through with my treatment because I was so frightened but I’m so grateful I did.
There are many variables with peoples experiences, things like; how long ago they went through treatment, their mental state, if they are a more glass half full/half empty person and if they followed the medical advice given to them can all effect someone’s perspective. Unfortunately people are also more likely to talk about something if it’s been a negative experience. Those who’ve had a smoother experience probably haven’t felt the need to vent or talk about it as much which I think is why we have a very unbalanced perspective of chemotherapy still to this day (especially online).
After completing my treatment I was speaking with a customer at work and she mentioned she had just been diagnosed with cancer and her oncologist recommended chemotherapy but she was so frightened and didn’t want to do it. I was able to tell her about my experience and how I felt exactly the same but I got through it and encouraged her to do the same. She has since completed her treatment and said she is also very glad she did.
Please don’t let the reputation of Chemotherapy frighten you from starting your treatment. Chemotherapy is very do-able! It’s not a walk in the park of course but if I had to do it again, next time I wouldn’t hesitate. I really didn’t think I could do it but I did and if I can do it anyone can!!
I’m not sure if any of my words have resonated with you but I hope they have provided you with some calm and reassurance.
If you have any specific questions please don’t hesitate to reach out.
It’s such a roller coaster of emotions when you are first diagnosed but things will calm down. How you feel now will be different to how you feel in 1-2 weeks time and one day you’ll be the person giving reassuring words to someone else. A lovely quote I read was: you were given this mountain to show others it can be climbed!! Xoxoxo
