Hello.
I was diagnosed on the 19th of October with Hodgkin’s Disease (stage 2A) and started chemo last Monday. I’ve been very positive about the diagnosis, especially around my family. I know I’m supremely fortunate to have such a positive prognosis but most of them are extremely freaked out because my best mate actually had the same cancer several years ago and passed away from it. I am truly optimistic about my likelihood of recovery and I’ve been doing my best to keep a smile on my face, but my first chemo hit me a lot harder than I was expecting.
At first I just felt shaky and a bit nauseous but six days later I’ve got mouth ulcers, no appetite, and I’m ACHING all over. So badly. Everything hurts. All I want to do is to curl up and sleep (which I have been doing a lot of) but even a twenty minute trip to the shop completely wiped me.
I’ve been taking care of myself, eating even though I’m not hungry, drinking a lot, sleeping when I need to, exercising lightly with my dog, but I’m just so sore and feel utterly miserable. I don’t really have anyone I can complain to about this because they really haven’t dealt wonderfully with the diagnosis and the few who have have so much going on in their life I don’t want to just be complaining that I feel like I have a nasty flu.
I also know the side-effects will likely get worse (unless my onc can fix me up, god willing) but I guess I just wasn’t as prepared as I expected. I thought the first chemo at least would ease me into it, I suppose. I can’t decide if I was naive or optimistic in hoping that.
I hope you don’t mind me ranting. I just feel awful and am really nervous now about how much worse subsequent chemos will be if this is the first one. I just feel like such a sook when I know how much worse others have it and since this is only my first chemo but I just can't shake feeling so bloody awful.
