My husband was diagnosed in April with terminal cancer. He was diagnosed with bowel cancer 20 months ago, he had op to remove and also 8 months of chemo. 3 months later cancer was back, they operated again and then in April cancer is back and also spread to the pancreas. He has been losing weight and is In a lot of pain. I'm just writing here because I can't sleep and I'm so scared to lose my husband. He is everything to me and the thought of him actually dying is more pain than I can possibly bear. We have been positive up until today but he is now looking so unwell that we have cried together for the first time since all this happened. I think we may have been in denial, I'm not sure. Can somebody please give me some comforting words..how will I live without John. I can barely breath when I imagine a life without him. Please help me. If there is anyone out there that has lost their husband or is going through the same please help me. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm dying with him. ... View more

My husband got diagnosed with bowel cancer 18months ago, they said they were doing a curative operation. After op they suggested 8 months of chemo just to play it safe, to mop up anything that might have been left behind. 2 months after chemo finishes, first pet scan shows cancer is back! They suggest another operation, to remove most of what's left of bowel, after op they say chemo is not necessary as there were good margins.. First pet scan 3 months after op, cancer is back in bowel and has now spread to pancreas, they are saying he is terminal and its inoperable...... They want to give him chemo to extend his life........I'm so so friggin angry. This is a.joke! I have lost my faith in the medical system, I feel like they don't have a clue on what cancer does or doesn't do. It's been 3 weeks since this last diagnosis and I feel very lonely. The first week I couldn't eat, sleep and thought I was losing my mind. I was looking through my eyes but I could not see anything. I felt like I was blind. The second week I decided to get the things done that needed to be done like organising centrelink payments as i have left my job to look after John. This week we are concentrating on healing John. We are doing everything in our power to make him 100% better. We are trying alternate medicines for the moment and ignoring the prognosis. They were wrong 18months ago when they said they were doing a curative operation and they have been wrong since the start so who's to say they're not wrong with this diagnosis. I'm sorry if I sound angry, I just really need to share this with other people that are going through the same thing as I feel that although I am blessed with a loving family who support me I feel that they can't possibly know what this feels like as they have not experienced this, I believe that unless you have experienced this directly then you couldn't possibly know the gut wrenching feeling you have every minute of every day. This cancer has become a terrorist in our lives. It has robbed us of our carefree personalities. I pray to the lord to give me strength and help me to release this anger and sadness that I constantly feel. Thank you so much for listening. God Bless you all xx ... View more