Thank you Emily, your kind words mean a lot to me right now. God Bless you xx ... View more

Thank you for your thoughtful messages during this difficult time. ... View more

Dear Mrs. B, The other posts and comments are so loving and supportive. But I want to add one suggestion: take one day at a time. That single piece of advice has been the basis for my coping with my own diagnosis of Stage IV lymphoma last year.I am my own caregiver without spouse or significant other. My two adult children begged me to do the RCHOP/Nordic protocol chemotherapy that I had to endure for 18 weeks. After chemo I fought four bouts of Cdiff colitis and was confined to bed in a diaper for six weeks. It seems like a bad dream at times especially since I am back at work [no choice since somebody has to pay the bills] and my family assumes that I am "cured." Having read the medical literature, I know there is nothing more that can be done for me beyond the monoclonal antibody maintenance. My general health has been good all my life so I can continue to walk every day. But I will be lucky to survive for another year or two.Strange to say, I have found this "death sentence" to be very liberating. It is possible to make choices about what to do with time and talent. It is easier to say "no." You and your husband must have many things in common that you enjoy--don't give up any of those activities. Make sure that you are both getting enough rest and nutritious food.If he is in physical pain do ask for something immediately. You are, I believe from my own experience, suffering from psychic pain--which can be just as bad as the physical kind. There are lots of treatments for discouragement: don't be fooled into thinking that antidepressants are a crutch.If it were insulin for diabetes you would not question needing to take it every day. Most important of all, keep praying. Sometimes it helps to pray for all the others on this site who are struggling with the disease or with caring for someone beloved and in distress. The Daily Word, from USA, has readings that are spiritual without being strictly denominational.I find support in it each day. You are in my thoughts and prayers.Take care of yourself too. With sincerest concern for what you are going through, KBM ... View more

Hello , I am not normally a fan of Robyn Williams but I was watching Patch Adams the other day and something he said made sense. He said that we are all dying a little every day. Therefore all anyone really has is today and everything else is illusion. Make the most of what you have today because there is nothing else. This makes particular sense to me as I now live from six month check up to the next six month check up. Worst case scenario , I could be dead in 2 years. However all this is meaningless really as I am alive today. This took me a while to understand and sometimes I think I may be a better person for knowing this. I agree that your husband may recover. Coming to terms with your own mortality is a challenge. I am watching my 1 1/2 year old daughter playing while I am writing this. Death is part of life. I hope this helps a little. ... View more

Hi Deputy, I think that you are extremely brave and it's absolutely OK to complain under the circumstances. It's ok to not be strong all the time. What has happened to you absolutely sucks! So if you need to complain and you can't do it around family then this is the place to do it. I am sending you good energy and hope that you are doing well. God Bless you ... View more