Hi Mate
You should weigh this stuff up and make your own judgement call, but here's my comment on each of the areas of concern.
Side Effects Laundry-List
Mate, three years later and still have an array of problems, some of which could have been avoidable with better advice (the thyroid is a big example). I'll give you a quick run-down on the big picture as it was for me, based on the stage of treatment / recovery. Note the first 3-5 weeks of treatment are a breeze, only issue is losing sense of taste after first chemo. Read the Head & Neck Side Effects thread for a full run-down from me and a bunch of other folks with similar disease profiles.
EARLY (During Treatment): toward end of treatment, it's neck burns, dry mouth, pain, mucositis. The mucositis for me was the worst, combined with rancid-taste dysgeusia.
MID (First 6mth After Treatment): Side effects were worse AFTER treatment, the first fortnight was woeful. Mucositis was the biggest problem, but dry mouth, vomiting, all that stuff, are at their most intense straight after treatment finishes, and don't be impatient, it will be a slow gradual decline.
LATE (1year and beyond): Thyroid is a real shit, radiation induced thyroid impairment - but even approaching 3 years out still have issues with mucus, dry mouth, coughing. Every day there's a wretching and some phlegm to bring up. But yeah, get your thyroid tested in the first year out so you don't pile on weight in years 2 & 3.
PEG Insertion
Buddy, my oncologist said 'its better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it'.
It's a surgery, considered minor, but like any surgery, there are side effects. People trivialise plastic surgery, but the simple fact is, people die during minor procedures, even kids with stuff like circumcision, it's just massively rare. I got a post-surgical fever/infection, but shook it off pretty quickly. The thing is, without the PEG tube, I would have been utterly fucked (sorry). Rancid taste dysgeusia means everything that goes into your mouth, even water, tastes like maggotty possum. Willpower doesn't play a part, your body just won't over-ride the survival instinct and allow you to swallow what feels like poison. It's apparently an uncommon side effect, but if you get it, you're screwed. If your oncologist says you could be slated for quick insertion during treatment .. well, you can roll with that. They can also intubate by nose, apparantly, but it's awkward and harder to use. You could follow your oncologists advice, but if he's left the choice up to you, I'd seriously consider getting the PEG inserted, and risks be damned. I relied on it for survival for 2 months.
Fear & State of Mind
Cancer is a shit show, mate. All you can do is get through it. My best piece of advice is really simple - distract yourself. Whatever it is that is fun or diverting for you - super-indulge in it. I don't care if it's reading kid's Scooby Doo story-books, professional burping, playstation zombie games, or transcendental meditation .. just distract yourself. You need to tick off the time and get through the next few months. And after that, you need to take a deep breath and get through another few months, and then, day by day, things start getting better. You can even go whole weeks without even thinking about cancer, if you're lucky. Anyway, distract yourself much in the same way you would a puppy who's just had desexing surgery and has to wear one of those cones around his neck & you need to distract the poor little bugger so he doesn't scratch at his stitches. Be protective of your mental health, try not to obsess too much about cancer and your side effects, treat it as if you're doing a stint in the military, or in a prison, and just get through.
