Hi PS. Thank you SO SO much for your kind words and advice. I know now that there are people out there who are or have been through what I'm going through now and I feel for you all so much. I just pray that God gives me the strength to get through this (even today my son had a car accident!!) and at the moment I don't know how much more I can take but I do know I have to support my dad and he is so positive although I know he is only being like that for me and I love him so much. Thank you all for your kind words xo Chris ... View more

Hi there. Maybe you can help me in my time of need. When reading your comment that is exactly my thoughts at the moment. My 83 yrold dad was diagonised with oesophageus cancer about 12 mths ago and has been in hospital having a stent put in for some relief as he can't swallow etc. We had a big scare last week when he was found on bathroom floor vomiting blood!!! He is now home and sounding a little better but I know his condition is terminal but even though I have asked him to come stay with me all he is worried about is that I'm ok - I just want to care for my dad in his last days but he is so so positive that he will be around for a long time and has even planned my Xmas present 2011. I am just so lost as I know I am losing him and haven't really got any family support as they all seem to realize he has to go but I can't as he has always been my rock and strength.I know how you must have felt as my dad is so positive and doesn't want to go despite the pain but I don't know how to help. Thanks for listening xo Chris ... View more

Hi Gil. My dad (83) has same as you and has had a lot of trouble swallowing and is now on pureed foods and had a stent put in last Fri 19Feb. He went home same same night and had to go back to hospital next day as was vomiting blood- turned out they had scraped oesophageus. One week later he is back home and despite a lot of burping he seems to be doing a lot better-I live 6 hr train trip away and speak to him each night- but he is doing so much better and can now tolerate mashed food. I know he is probably a lot older than you and his age has a lot to do with it. You take care and please keep me posted. xo Chris ... View more

Hi Jill. I really don't know what you are going through as it is your husband and you have 2 small children. Does it make any difference if it is your dad who is so sick? I am trying to back off from this site as I feel so guilty that I am complaining when my dad is still here when there are so many who are much worse off than me. I am prepared to have dad here with me but that is up to him. It's such a hard time and I feel so helpless and all I can do is ring him every night and talk about good times but it is really up to him to make that decision to come and live with me but at least I have made it clear to him he is so welcome. My heart really goes out to you as you have a bigger burden than me. Take care of yourself xoChris ... View more

Hi Tonya. Thanks for the support. Dad was sent home today and I was just speaking to him but he seems to be having a lot of trouble breathing. I just have to trust that the doctors know what they are doing by sending him home to live on his own. He still wont commit to moving in with me but I have done a lot of the ground work and I think little by little he is coming around. As I said to him my health may improve as if he is with me I won't worry so much as I know what is going on. Yeah it may be hard but after all he is my dad and I love him. But I can also understand if it was me I wouldn't want to burden my kids!!! But whatever will be will be. xo Chris ... View more

HiTonya. I hope he decides he wants to come stay with me but where do I get the physical support that I will need. His specialists are on Central Coast while I am on St Coast. My dr said it will be probably a case os calling ambos if he has a problem. Just so hard but only thing I'm concerned about is that he is comfortable. And he is still not sure he can move!!!. I can only say that I have put that offer to him and know it is up to him. ... View more

Hi there CATS. I am now (i think!!!) about to be dad's sole sarer if he does move down with me. As mentioned before he has terminal oesophageus and after hsving a stent put in last Fri for a bit of relief he was rushed to hospital Sat morn and is still there. We went and saw him Sat and he looked terrible and he is losing weight every day. I asked him AGAIN to move in with me (4hr drive away) and I would look after him. Even though my health is not so good I feel he is better off here with me(my daughter only lives 1 street away). And I don't feel as though he should be by himself anymore. But he keeps changing his mind - only because he doesn,t want to be a burden to me!!!. I know I can't lift him, bath him etc but there must be some help out there to help with those matters. But at least I/my kids/grandkids can give him all the love in his last days that he deserves - just a matter for him to decide. I think his is getting closer to his decision every day!! Thanks for listening. Don't know what I would do without this link xo Chris ... View more

Hi Julie. I can't write him a letter as he is legally blind but OMG I am going to tell him when he gets home as he needs to know how I feel. And I can't go through what I went through this morning with those phone calls- I need him to be here with me so I can deal with problems and not neighbours. I may seem ungrateful but I'm not. If his good neighbour hadn't found him this morning he wouldn't be here now and I' SO thankful to her but he needs his family. And as I said before I think he knows that now too. I do know it will be hard but at least I have heaps of support out there and as I have said before dad has always been my rock and source of emotional support and now I want to be there for him. But his problem is he is worried about about what will happen to me if he goes. I'll just have to convince him I will be ok!!!!. Thanks so much for your support xo Chris ... View more

Hi Jules. I know that I will be able to care for him-although it may be hard. But at least I have my kids down here who he is very close to and especially his great grandkids so I have no worry about support- it is all up to him deciding he wants to make the move. I do understand that it would be so daunting to have to up and move but my family will do all that for him. I just think it's so important he spends whatever time he has left with family who love him so much and not feel a burden. xoChris ... View more

Hi Victoria. Hope you don't mind me msg you but today has been really hard. Dad went hospital to have stent put in oesophageus as he can't eat/swallow but I got a call this morning from a neighbour who checks on him twice a day (I live 6 hrs away by train) and she had to rush him to hospital as he was laying on floor vomiting blood and couldn't even call 000. My daughter and I went up to see him and he is not too good but it is time for him to move down with me and be close to his family. I think he got a big scare too (he is so stubborn and independent) but any tips for convincing him to move. I think he is too scared to make the move. But he can't stay on his own. I don't know what to do. xoChris ... View more