December 2011
thank you mignon.. still feeling in shock.. not looking foward to the future wish time could stand still... ๐
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hi all.. havent actually blogged for a long while now... as a few of you know my boyfriend had stage four bowl cancer and went through 4 major surgeries.. bowel, liver and 2 lung ops... he also had 6 months of chemo and radiation.. things were looking so well and bright.. we could finally be happy again... we had such a shit year and now the future seemed like it was going to be ok...
he came to my work today and i knew by the look on his face something wasnt right.. he got the results from his CT check up scan and was told that the cancer had come back now in his lymp nodes, in the stomach and there was a spot in the liver...
i feel so sick and distraught.. after all that hard work after all the painful days in IC recovering.. for what?
he wasnt given a proper time frame, but im guessing its 12 months or so... im in shock.. we've gone from talking about moving out together and marriage to now just nothing... the future is bleak... i feel numb.. how could this be? how will i cope with what horrible things are to come? i dont even want to celebrate christmas now... i dont want new years eve to come because i know the new year is nothing to look foward to...
feeling very blue today :(
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November 2011
thank you survivorsays... i appriciate it. Not having a lot of people to surround you at hard times is infact very hard... no im not involved in a church. I have one good friend who is a nurse, so she understands, but the rest dont.. we're in our early twenties so i guess everyone is to busy partying and making plans... ๐
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November 2011
im so sorry... how terrible for you... you have now finished this horrible journey and will start a new one on the journey of healing... i hope that you can one day find yourself breathing a sigh of relief and start to be happy again... take one day at a time, let yourself be a mess do watever it takes to get through this... my thoughts are with you and your family xo
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November 2011
i feel this way to.. since my boyfriends diagnosis around a year a nd a couple of months ago i have lost numerous friends along the way.. nobody bothers to ring or see how i am or invite me out.. its like they cant be bothered with my sadness or bad news, the only time they want to be around me is when im happy or ready for a night out... which isnt often... its been so hard
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October 2011
sometimes the best thing to do is escape.. my boyfriend and i went to port douglas before his terrible surgeries and it was the best thing we did.. we had such a nice romantic time, it was good to forget his cancer for a while... ๐
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September 2011
hey was really good to read your blog... my boyfriend was 22 when he got diagnosed with bowel cancer.. he's nearly 24 and still battling it! its no easy walk in the park...!
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September 2011
thanks silly i might do that.. i did do that at the start felt a tiny bit better, but i do have trouble making that call.. i feel kind of awkward calling a stranger and breaking down, but i guess it makes us human... ๐
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September 2011
thank you everyone for your kind words and comments... my family is unsupportive of me at this time.. they nag me about stupid things and dont have consideration for me.. ๐ im finding it very tough, his operation is this weds and im nervous.. i know he'l be ok i just hate not having him there, knowing he is in pain at hospital.. it really sucks big time... ๐ all my friends around me are in the prime of their lives and here is me, depressed and anxious.. i feel so negative all the time but i cant help it.. ๐
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