Hello Di57, I read your post and can empathise on how confronting your upcoming surgery is for you. I had a different surgery for a different cancer, but was still scared shitless too. It is a valid feeling for something so big in a person’s life. I think we google for reassurance, but it is important to know that the internet can be our enemy at times. It often shows the worst case scenario without the statistics that support the claims. Also did every picture explain all of that person’s medical history and how & why the pictures ended up on the internet? Can there be 100% certainty that the pictures are all really what you googled for, or taken from somewhere else and put under a different heading? Google will certainly trigger emotions inside of you when you are already stressed and heightened. But you won’t be alone in doing this. It isn’t silly, just natural human behaviour to seek comfort, reassurance and answers. There are really good surgeons who have done so many surgeries of your type. And there isn’t just one doctor in the operating theatre. There are multiple people involved in an operation. And they all have to follow strict procedures. They will look after you. You are also doing something so proactive for yourself and your future. One step at a time. Unfortunately you have to go through it to get on the other side of it. But you are doing everything that is necessary for yourself. And showing a strength and resilience that is so commendable. I wish you well during this stressful time. All the best, Milo01
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