Hi Nat
(why Peanutz?)
The day of the bad news ....Us - we heard from the surgeon the next day on his 5pm round, he gave just the initial news. In hindsight, him telling us just the minimum information allowed us a brief time to digest the initial shock... so unexpected so quickly after her operation, the finality with a short life reduced sentence, so not much time left, what is life, what to do, organise who to tell.
We went for a walk within the hospital, Lorraine with bandaged head, black eye starting to show, to a type of visitors lounge area (well that’s what I call it). The surgeon's 2nd in charge/assistant surgeon (???) came looking for us, found us, and sat down with us for 1/2 hour. He had a direct manner (almost brutal), focused, very clear, stayed with us for that time. The news was hard/devastating confronting. An amazing and compassionate man. We both have high admiration of him. It’s probably one of the many stories of the quality of the people in the RPA hospital and there are many quality people there.
Post operation - It’s a different life I found to tread when in the mist of brain tumours - takes a while to get a sense of place as I re-evaluated, what is around, what to expect with the progression of the brain tumour, where to find information, who to turn to. Trying to find some sense of a light at the end of the tunnel dealing with my stuff my grief, her grief, her daughter’s and granddaughter’s grief, her loss of work, the loss of money, my work, the loss of dreams.
Ps don’t know if this helps for you - my concept of the oncologist and post surgeon is seeing the physical presentation of your partner, how your partner is coping with the chemo, his physical and mental reactions to the drug, to the life sentence, whether the chemo amount needs to be changed or Also allows you to ask what is going on anything new out there
My partner is now taking 50 ml of the chlomipramine (start at 25 ml and progress in steps of 3 or more days till you get till 150ml to allow your body to adjust). Next MRI scan 9-10-2011.
Her days are variable With mornings, she focuses on pushing her lethargy aside getting out of bed and then dealing with the day, kind of like of like taking one step at a time. Some days of depression - they pass. She has a belief that sustains her ... and I wonder if I would cope if the roles were reversed.
We are going overseas in 2.5 weeks so we take chemo and associated drugs with us. We thought her treatment with chemo would finish then, but it is extended, for when I am not sure of– so that is a question we need to ask.
Hugs Geoff
... View more