September 2011
Hmmm, thanks for that one. I hadn't realised this. Once I found out I had cancer I thought stuff it, if Im going to die sooner than most then I'm going to enjoy myself on the way and haven't taken any care about my exercise regime or my eating habits. Now that I've read this I'm going back to my old healthy ways...just one more pizza and then I'll start.
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September 2011
Am staying at my parents place for a few days just to escape everything for a while and relax. Went fishing with dad and a friend yesterday and got 15 fish which was fun. Was worn out by the end of the day and slept all the way home. Don't know whether its the worry wearing me out or what, but simple tasks seem to take their toll on me and I get tired a lot quicker these days. The results of my colonoscopy and gastroscopy came back all clear which is good so the cancer hasnt spread there. Am going back home in a couple of days and have an appointment to see the oncology team on the 28th sept. Not sure what they are going to do, I guess discuss and plan treatment for me? Hope they dont plan on starting me on chemo on that date cos I need to be right for my engagement party on the 1st October.
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September 2011
Hi there again all, finally got my diagnosis today. Its lung cancer and it has also spread to one of the lymph nodes in my neck area as well, so they haven't caught it early 😞 They are doing more tests today on the tissue they took in the biopsy last week. Tomorrow I go in for a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy to see if anything is there as well or evidence of a primary to see where it may have started. I am reacting to the news better than I thought I would. I dont think it has hit me fully yet and I am maybe still in shock. The preparation for the procedure tomorrow isnt fun..they said they are going to do chemotherapy with me but the oncology team will discuss that with me tomorrow.
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September 2011
Just got a letter in the mail to say I have an appointment with the specialist tomorrow at 10:30am. I guess I will find out tomorrow whether I have cancer or not and I feel absolutely terrified 😞
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September 2011
Hi there Annie and thanks for your reply. Went and saw the chiroprator the other day. He said I had some muscle soreness, quite obviously 🙂 and that my t9 vertebrae was a bit out of alignment so gave me a gentle cracking (if there is such a thing!) Also gave me a deep massage which relieved it a little as well. Also relieved my wallet of 70$. That hurt me the most. Agree with the not knowing part. I am starting to settle a bit now the biopsy has been done but know I will be in a panic when I go to see my doctor on wednesday. She might have the results by then, she might not but im going there anyway to get another prescription for pain relief anyway. Good to hear that your friends mother survived for a long time after her diagnosis. I gave up smoking 18 months ago when I met my fiance. She didnt want to date a smoker and it was good for my health anyway. Thanks for your best wishes!
John
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September 2011
So sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
John
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September 2011
Been away for a few days. Had the right supraclavicular lymph node removed under a general anasthetic on thursday. Was quite nervous before surgery so they gave me something to relax me. They couldnt get the needle in to my hand as my veins were trying to avoid it, hate needles 🙂 Being under was great, went to sleep with a smile on my face for a change! Woke up from the operation and had an anxiety attack. Fiance took me back to her place for the night, I felt pretty good so I cooked us all dinner. Stayed there longer than I expected. She had to go in for a procedure the next day so I looked after her for a few days as well. We just hung out together, watched tv, slept, and slept some more. The pain is average and im managing i just cant seem to keep any food down. Surely its not still the after effects of the drugs. Am going to give nurse on call a ring and see what they say. I like my food too much for this to be happening to me 🙂
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September 2011
Hi there, thanks for the reply. I feel a little more at peace this morning. Yesterday was the worst day ever since I was told I probably have it. I fought with the fiance, she didnt want to talk to me then we ended up spending most of the afternoon together anyway. Funny how things have a way of working out. Me and her and her kids went and looked at houses. I found a really nice one later on in the price range we want. Its in exactly the area she wants to live, its double storey, is in a court and has a swimming pool as well. I dont know why i am looking at houses right now with all of whats going on. I guess when you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. I am thinking of starting a cancer support group though Im not sure how I would go about doing it.
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September 2011
I know how you feel. I havent even been diagnosed yet and I am already depressed. I sure do hope it gets better. I had a major blue with my fiance this morning. I told her I wanted to spend a couple of hours together alone before my biopsy this week. She said she couldnt because she handles things by keeping busy. That really hurt me so deeply and i tried to explain it to her but it didnt work out well. I went and saw the surgical team yesterday but the guy was useless. He wasnt even sure whether they were going to do an excision biopsy or just take a sample. I told him about my back pain but he wouldnt give me anything. Some days i just feel like giving up and wish it would all be over. When you say you are a real problem for your family i am so with you on that. From the outside its easier for them to be positive. They can say it will be alright, dont worry. But you know its not going to be alright and you expend so much energy on worrying its not funny. I have told several people I am afraid of dying and they almost laugh at me and say dont be stupid youre not going to die. I dont think anyone else understands this fully unless they are facing it themselves.
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