When you have anal cancer nothing is too personal 🙂 I was having several accidents a day straight after treatment. Sometimes I felt it and sometimes I didn't. Bowel incontinence was a huge problem and very debilitating. It is very common in anal cancer treatment and the forums I am a member of are full of helpful hints. Although it was different for Vanessa I found that bulking things up with fibre helped heaps. I have learnt what foods are going to wreak havoc and I have learnt to either avoid them or occasionally enjoy them but be prepared for the consequences. But on saying that it's definitely choosing the right fibre. It's the non digestible stuff that seems to help. For example things like pears, grapes and watermelon are big no no's but apples and prunes are ok. Not sure of the theory of it and maybe everyone's trigger foods are different. Hope that helps a little bit???? I could go into a lot more grossness but this forum is pretty open to everyone ;-) Sharon xxxxx ... View more

Hi Strong, great to catch up with you again! I have huge bowel issues from the radiation and although we had different cancers we had radiation in similar areas. I've found a change in diet has almost controlled things. Some days are worse than others and I don't think that I will ever get back to pre cancer control but things are cope-able. I pretty well got rid of all processed foods and really increased the amount of fibre I ate including taking some fibre supplements. At first I was really nervous about it as it didn't make sense to increase fibre to help with bowel control but it really worked for me. Some days I have my dose of wonderful processed foods such as chocolate, white bread, rice etc but I pay for it shortly after. I know it sounds pretty extreme but it was my sanity saver and a bonus is that I have lost 16kg without really trying. A win win choice. I know it won't be the answer for everyone but it might be worth exploring. Vanessa, I would love to hear more about the hyperbaric therapy your friend had - it sounds promising. Sharon ... View more

I love my doctors and they are brilliant with saving lives and dealing with facts but sometimes the emotional stuff is a bit beyond them. I sort of do understand as the emotional drain on them would be huge dealing with cancer patients day in and day out BUT that said this is your cancer journey and you need your questions answered. You and your partner are the ones dealing with the everyday issues and trying to get through it all and you need knowledge, reassurance and confidence in your doctors. Do you have a multidoctor team? Maybe you can talk to one of the other doctors.....i know I am more comfortable asking questions of certain members of my team and they are much more forthcoming with answers. Most of the oncologists have nursing staff that work with them and they are great to get info from too. They often explain things to me that I don't understand...deciphering the doctor speak, breaking down the information. It took me a while to discover that these nurses are there.... but they are. I agree with Samex.... is it worth trying another oncologist? Keep asking the questions, keep expecting the answers.The "not knowing" is tough. Take care xxxxx ... View more

I hope it's normal! :-) ... View more

A middle-aged woman Seemed sheepish as she Visited her gynaecologist. 'Come now,' coaxed the doctor, 'you've been seeing me for years. There's nothing you can't tell me.' 'This one's kind of strange...' 'Let me be the judge of that, 'The doctor replied'. 'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.' 'I see.' 'That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl ' 'That Night,' she went on, 'I went again, Plink-plink-plink, and there were dimes and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me!' she implored. 'I'm scared out of my wits!' The gynaecologist put a comforting Hand on her shoulder. 'There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.' (Ready for this?) (I'm warning You.....) (Still not too late....!) 'You're simply going through the change! hahahaha..... ... View more

Hi Mrs Elton, At the start I was determined to make every day count but it is just soooo exhausting. There is so much pressure to cram so much in. Every day is important and oh so special, I have relaxed a bit now and each day is wonderful and I enjoy every minute but it's ok to have shut down time, sad time, veg time, lazy time and fun time. they all create special memories. You don't need to be positive all the time.... it's too hard. Having sad time makes us appreciate the happy and positive times. It's difficult to not feel a bit alone when you are going thru all this but as sailor says there is so many people out there ready to talk and to help. The cancer council help line is a life saver and my hospital offers free counselling at the cancer care centre for partners as well (and it's a public hospital) so check with your hospital, it's probably similar. For your kids try canteen. I'm with your friend sailor, crying is great. it's such a release. I cry in the shower....no one can see, no one can hear and the water washes away the redness in my eyes 🙂 Don't get me wrong.... I am a very positive and strong person ..... I'm not a blubbering wreck (most of the time 🙂 but it feels so good to let it all out. The I can get dressed, put on a smile and face the world. Hang in there Mrs Elton, you can do this! Best wishes to your family. Sharon xxxxx ... View more

Hi Kym, I had anal cancer so you don't have to explain to me the indignity of a telescope being shoved anywhere.... I truly hear you brother! My life has been so focused on my butt for a year that I read your joke/question and thought the punch line was "Answer at the bottom"...hahahahaha..... it wasn't until I scrolled down and read "a stick" that I had a good laugh at myself. Sad, I know...... I get so stressed and concerned before each check up and although I try and stay confident, positive and upbeat by the time the check ups come around I have convinced myself that my cancer has come back. After each all clear I still cry with relief and tell myself off for thinking the worst. The week before is horrible. Let us know how you go, we will be sending all our positive vibes your way. I am pretty sure what you are going thru emotionally is pretty normal - it's a pretty stressful time. The emotional side is by far the tougher side of cancer. I really hope both your procedure and your test results go really well on Friday. I hope your doctor is gentle and you come away with a lot to celebrate. Thinking of you. Sharon xxxxx ... View more

A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?' The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.' The husband replies, 'What did he say about your 42-year old arse?' 'Your name never came up,' she replied Ok... I know it's a girly joke but it made me laugh :-D ... View more

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. 'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...' 'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles . ... View more

Hi Alana, The kids are my greatest worry! They take the weight of our cancer on their shoulders and especially year 9, that is a tough age group as it is. I got a pack sent out by a group called "Now What" from www.nowwhat.org.au or 1800 669 942 that is aimed at teens with parents who have cancer. And...ok... it's not the complete answer but it's written for teens in a great format. It helped. I found out about it from a poster at my cancer care centre. With my younger one I did an anxiety course at Macquarie Uni (Sydney) and that really really helped. I am not sure what age they go up to but it might be worth getting in touch with them or a similar uni close to you. It's part of their child development area...I will try and find the paperwork. Even try "canteen", they would have lots of experience in dealing with teens and cancer. Worth a phone call. I hope that gives you some ideas???? Give her time and spend time together and with Dad, lay in bed and watch movies as a family, go for coffee, let her be with her friends, be silly together and laugh together. She is probably so scared she is going to lose Dad ...I know that was my guys biggest fear and their first question "are you going to die". Her insecurities are probably going into overload. I know with my guys they just didn't know what to do so I actually sat and gave them a list of things that would really help. It gave them some responsibility and a sense of being involved. Again...not the whole answer but it helped them come to terms with things a bit. Take care of you. Sharon xxxxx ... View more