October 2009
Hi Larn,
As my kids say "cancer sux!!!" I hope you are hanging in there, it's so tough on all the family, I often think it's much harder mentally on the carers than it is on the cancerer (OK...maybe that's not a word but couldn't think of a better one).
I went thru the anger with the kids, I can relate completely. I don't think that they ever really picked up on it as I was soooo conscious to keep it bottled up but inside I didn't like them very much at all. I love them completely and would die for them but still was very angry with them. A lot of it was just anger at the world but some of it I think was that after cancer my priorities and values changed so much but those of my family didn't...still the same as before...... it has taken a while for those values to start to shift a bit and I am starting to like my children again (i hope I don't come across as winning bad mum of the year award....just need to be honest here :-)
It took me a while after treatment finished to start making changes but I have and it's working. I am much happier and my kids are so much happier too. They are not as materialistic and we do spend a sickeningly amount of family time together but it's wonderful.... creating memories. I do hate my cancer with a passion but there have been many positives that have eventually come out of it....it's just taken time.
Sending lots of love and hugs and good vibes your way.
Sharon
xxxxx
... View more
September 2009
i was very lucky in that my hair just thinned out so I could get away with some hats. Most of my friends who have lost their hair use wigs and they look great. Most of them say that although they are good it's nice to have other options so when they don't want to wear them they don't have to. I am pretty sure there is a wig library ...I think at Westmead???... where you can borrow wigs but if someone wants to clarify that then please do. And I think some health funds may pay some of the costs too.
Earlier in the year I signed up for one of the "look good feel better" sessions and they were great with ideas on how to feel better about things while having treatment. Wigs, hats, scarves etc etc etc, how to wear them, what things worked and you get a great goodie bag of makeup and skin care - well worth trying out.
take care
Sharon
xxxxx
... View more
September 2009
I love your idea of writing a book about me for my kids! Thank you so much. I do enjoy writing and yes, it would be tough, but it would be so worthwhile. As you say LL it wouldn't be just about things that I want then to know about growing up but things that they might like to know about me....may strengths, my hopes, my loves especially the depth of love I have for them. very powerful stuff and like you I tear up thinking about things like that.
We do have the "retreats" here and I went on one earlier in the year up in the blue mountains and it was just life changing. I would recommend them to anyone who can get there. To be around so many strong courageous women all at different stages of treatment was ...not even sure of the right words..... it was indescribable.To know other women were going thru similar things, to know that no matter how strong and confident they appeared they were still scared inside, to know that we were all going to fight with everything we have...it made such a difference. We did a lot of talking, tai chi,yoga, group therapy, meditating, self awareness and the food and accommodation was perfect.
Thinking of you all
Sharon
xxxxx
... View more
September 2009
I think frustration and cancer go hand in hand. No! You aren't alone. I hope you get the support you need either here or another forum. I've found the cancer council phone line invaluable when I just need to talk.... sometimes it's nice to let it all hang out when talking to someone who has no idea who I am.
I'm probably not as young as you (I'm 40) but I have young kids that keep me young at heart 🙂
The list of frustrations is long and varied.... often it depends on my mindset for the day as to how the frustrations annoy me. Tiredness, tiredness and more tiredness. Lots of other things that you really don't need to hear me whinge about but each day post treatment gets better...just a little bit at a time. Some steps forward, the occasional step backwards.....
Hang in there, I hope you take more steps forward.
Thinking of you.
Sharon
xxxxx
... View more
September 2009
Hi Nickij,
I did the whole photo thing too and printed out about 3000.... my photo shop nearly had a heart attack. It was lovely though and the kids even now enjoy looking at the photos that were previously just stuck on the computer. Of course the tears flowed but I am glad I did it.
Your counsellor sounds like my husband....I feel I am optimistic but I am also realistic. I am positive that I will beat this cancer but I am enough of a realist to have contingency plans..... plans for nannies, carers, schools, etc etc. It is good to focus on recovery and getting well but there are so many other things that are important. I don't think it makes us less positive??? I'm a mum, my kids are my world.
I hope the tanties are settling a bit, 2 is such a wonderful age. My 2 yo is really starting to assert herself and wanting things her way.... mmmmmm...... I am starting to see so much character, it's wonderful. Figure with that much character and will power no one is going to push her around and she will be a strong woman.
wishing you all the best and tantrum free days :-)
Sharon
xxxxx
... View more
September 2009
I love it! I am being "hopeful" it sums up how I am feeling and fits perfectly. Thanks flight.
I am generally an optimistic person but the uncertainty about the future does weigh on me, sometimes more than others. When I do try and voice this I get the typical " you have to be positive" and I really want to say that no I don't...not all the time. I am not being negative but just realistic, I hope the cancer doesn't come back but I am realistic enough to know that it might. As others have said it will get easier with time.
Now I will just say that I am full of hope for the future 🙂
... View more
September 2009
Hi Nickij,
it is a tough one isn't it! I was first diagnosed in Nov 08 with a very poor prognosis at the time and still breastfeeding my 18month old. I can empathise completely...such a horrible horrible feeling about how to cram a life time of memories into such a little girls life..... it's painful to even think of it now after this time. Will she remember me, what will she remember, do I write letters, make a video, how can I teach her all the things that I wanted to teach her in the time I have......OMG! All the while fitting in treatment, feeling soooo tired but still wanting to be a great mum like both you and Amanda.
I could still play with cars on the floor with one hand while lying almost comatose on the lounge. Cushions on the floor to lie on so I could still be "involved" in play. Picnics for the kids in bed with me...not much fun for me but the kids didn't notice. A chair next to the sandpit. I made sure I took my anti nausea meds regularly which helped me keep up with things a bit...once the nausea kicked in it just wiped out me wanting to do anything. I found that the kids didn't necessarily want me to actually play with them they often just wanted me to be in the near vicinity. like Amanda has said I think it's the simple things that the kids get the greatest pleasure in and it's more the feeling of contentment that they cling to rather than any actual things that we can do for them.
I made an effort to get baby books up to date and wrote detailed birth stories in case I wasn't there to pass the info on..... ok... I am still working on the baby books 🙂 I started writing letters for each birthday with age appropriate info on boys, how to treat friends, my hopes and dreams, what to do on a date (and more importantly ...what not to do), to wax her legs and not shave,how to deal with periods, so many silly and trivial but oh so important stuff. Of course it took a lot of effort and so many tears...
I wish you all the best and I hope you and your daughter get many many many many great years together. Thinking of you and sending you good vibes.
Sharon
... View more
August 2009
Merkel, I have followed you and Wazza thru the pages of this website. He will be missed by many. Thinking of you and sending my love.
Sharon
... View more
March 2009
Bev....what do you mean the Picoprep doesn't taste too bad????? You must take a different one from the one I gag on I was actually talking to a lady about it today and she said she mixed her powder in a little bit of water first and then in a glass of pineapple juice and it completely masked the taste - I will definitely be doing that next time. The day before is a toughie isn't it. I think next time I might drag the bean bag and tv into the ensuite and just camp there. If you have any good time passing ideas then let us know.Sharonxxxxx
... View more
March 2009
I found the best thing for the horrible mouth ulcers was a mix of bicarb soda and water. I think I used about a 1/4 of a teaspoon in a half glass of water and swished every half hour. My Rad Onc suggested it and I was skeptical but it seemed to sooth and heal quite well and didn't taste of much. Hope it helps Sharon
... View more
- « Previous
- Next »