Give yourself a huge high five..you have done extremely well so far. I don't have cancer but travelled the addiction path to cope with hubbies illness..really bad excuse but we all make bad decisions.I still battle every day , but for you when the drugs are a necessity I admire what you have gotten off . Scream your lungs out, and with hubby if he has always been a support for you he will understand the issue with you today. My husband was never really supportive of me and now I am his carer...I often feel like screaming at him for so many reasons but I will feel really guilty afterwards and it won't achieve anything. But I am very over this rollarcoaster ride with cancer it has gone on and on for way to long and now hubby can do virtually nothing but eat, eat eat from those horrid dex..I do want do go to sleep and not wake up but with 3 teenagers thats not going to happen but life is very hard and I am exhausted...so if you hear a huge from Brisbanes direction, chances are its me. Hope you have a good sleep and tomorrow it a better day. ... View more

Hi Joe, everyone has given you great advice and I will just repeat one of those things...DO NOT GOOGLE IT.... We all understand the emotional rollercoaster each day is but trying to live as normally as possible is the best medicine and not worry about things that haven't happened and may never happen is very good advice. It's a waste of a great day! It's sounds as if that is flippant advice but I promise you there is nothing flippant about it. I've got to this stage because I've been through what you're going through, so look after yourself and know that whatever you may be feeling, this is a great place to come and get some support because we can all empathise with how you're feeling. Good luck 🙂 ... View more

Dear Ruby, I have no experience of what you're enduring . I would find it too difficult I think . You are truly made of tough stuff . I hope the withdrawl isn't as bad as it could be . ... View more

Hi Rubes Thanks very much for your suggestions. You're so young to have such an awful disease! My dad is 64 and that's bad enough. It's hard to talk to the treatment team, as they aren't always available when dad goes in for chemo. I think he maybe has to make an appointment to go in and talk to them. I asked him if I could have his doctor's number to talk to him, but he said he would deal with anything that needed to be discussed. I have to respect his wishes, but it's frustrating. He's got his last dose of chemo tomorrow, this will be the 4th cycle. Then there's a two week break to see what they're going to look at doing after that and he's got his CAT scan as well. It would be great to talk to someone inbetween for some suggestions to what we could do. I hope you don't mind if I send you a personal message. It would be great to get some more information about the things you discussed. Kind regards Caitlin ... View more

That has brightened my day, congrats on your marriage too. ... View more

What a wonderful acievement ! ... View more

I feel supported when you just say how it is. You have done that. I can't see "being slack" as applying. I know what you mean about being a ragdoll. I feel something similar during the chemo regime and I just go with it as a scientific thing that will hopefully give a good result. I don't confuse it with my identity which is nothing to do with the health system and its routines. It's not going to be a ragdoll getting married. She's a whole person. Let them stick needles in the ragdoll. So what. That's not you. H ... View more

Go Rubes. I wish I had that much energy. I'm flat out doing two laps of the cricket ground, twice a week. I can't imagine doing 20 mins a day. ... View more

I also either read or heard something recently. I think it was an interview on tv. The person had been in some traumatic experience and he said that "you need to learn to live with fear, rather than conquer it". I wonder if we focussed on that whether it would help in other areas of our lives. I have been tossing this one around in my head for a while and am undecided and yet lean towards liking the concept. Ruby, cancer is just a tough gig on everyone and for each and every person in the family and friends it is different. It can be tough on all relationships, whether they be spouse, partner, sibling etc... I thought about going to some counselling when I was going through treatment, however, due to my being a country patient there simply wasn't time and or the resources to get there. hugsss Julie ... View more

You seem to be doing all the right things to improve your life . Good luck with the relay. ... View more