Hi CaptainAustrali,   I think you have made a good effort in trying to patch things with your brother.  Relationships aren't just one sided. You've done what you can, and if he doesn't want to meet you halfway, there's really not much else you can do.  Be comfortable in the knowledge that you have tried.   Re your mother; well, if she hasn't changed in her ways from when you were young, do you really want her looking after your children?  I'm with you 100% in your decisions.   Budgie ... View more

Hi Lyndel,   I'm very sorry to hear things aren't going well with Noel.   I have just started on Opdivo as well.  I had my first treatment with it on the 17th Nov.  So far, so good as I haven't had any side effects - yet. My oncologist has said that because the Opdivo seems to work so well, it will probably become the new first line treatment instead of Sutent.  Having said that, I know that it doesn't work for everyone. I had a port put into my chest on Tuesday so I can have all the treatments done through that instead of poking my veins every two weeks.   I hope Noel gets some progress with it so that his life quality improves. Take care Sonia  ... View more

T for Tamworth  U for Ulladulla  ... View more

I can’t see why he would go through with getting married if he didn’t/doesn’t love you. It might be a good idea for you to see or talk to someone who can give you proper advice on how to handle your husband’s attitude. The situation you are in is not a good place to be. ... View more

Wow Britbrit, That is a rough month to say the least. I'm very sorry you've had such a terrible time, and it does sound like it's his way of coping and trying to protect you. But he's going to need you now more than ever. Once he realises you're in it for the long haul, hopefully he'll change his attitude and stop pushing you away. Welcome to this site, I hope it can provide some assistance and comfort to you. I wish you all the best. Budgie ... View more

What a great idea! ... View more

Hi Brisbane Lass I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time lately. I hope that you both don't have to go through that again. How is Noel's eating, has it improved at all? If not, it might be worth getting a referral to a dietitian as they can prescribe liquid supplements to help with the nutritional intake. I certainly hope things improve. I am so very lucky as I am no where near as badly affected. My thoughts are with you both, sending you lots of hugs. Sonia ... View more

R for Renner Springs ... View more

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, persevere with that. I was on Sutent for nearly 2 years, with a couple of months break due to an injury I received.  I also reduced the dose to 35mg.  Eventually though, it got too much.  I was diagnosed 5 years ago in August 2012.  I am one of the lucky ones to have made it this far.  So far Sutent has been the most effective drug I've been on.  I was on Votrient (Pazopanib) after the Sutent only for 8 months before it lost effectiveness.  Then came Affinitor (Everolimus) which I was on for 14 months & I found that it was no longer working either.  At that time I had about 30 small deposits throughout my body.  I am now on Inlyta (Axitinib) and have been on that one since October last year.  It really hit the spots hard and they mostly all have shrunk away.  So far, so good, though I will be having more scans next month to see if it's still working, as I have recently had to reduce the dose of it as well. I have been lucky because with all the deposits I have, my kidneys have been the only major organs affected.  I had the right one removed soon after diagnosis, then started on the Sutent.  Age has also been on my side as I was only 48 when diagnosed.  To look at me you would not think I am ill at all.  I do get very fatigued though, and that has been a constant issue throughout my treatment.  I have lost weight and a lot of strength, but I do still get out and about with my husband - sometimes in a wheelchair because I don't have the strength to walk very far. I hope your husband's condition improves soon with the reduction in dose.  It can make a world of difference. Maybe then you will be able to get back to doing some of the activities you both used to enjoy together. Sonia ... View more

Hi BrisbaneLass,  I started on Sutent as well.  It is a horrible drug, but it’s not the only one out there for kidney cancer.  I would advise to stay on it as long as possible, but there are options on how to take the drug.  Not only can you reduce the dose, but you should be able to vary how it’s taken as well, like 1 week on 1 week off.  Speak to his oncologist about it.  With me, I got to the point that every time I rolled over in bed, I would vomit & have a nose bleed.  Living like that is unsustainable - you need quality of life as well as quantity.  If the drug is really too much for him to tolerate, even on a lower dose, then maybe it’s time to switch to a different drug. Try to keep him as active as possible.  I know how hard that is, especially when you just feel so drained of energy, but it is very important, even if it is a short stroll around the block or just up the road a bit. If the diarrhoea is bad, try not to have too much fibre.  Eat small meals often, and drink plenty of water throughout the day, but only in small sips. If his hands and feet are getting painful, use plenty of moisturiser on them.  I found that Urederm works really well for me.  Although you can use any cream that has at least 10% Urea. That amount of weight loss over 4 months is quite bad.  If he’s vomiting a lot, he should try to have a banana or two to increase his potassium levels a bit.  Perhaps he should see a dietitian as they can help with food supplements.  There are also anti-nausea medications he might be able to try. Don't forget to look after yourself!  That is very important.  Find someone you can download to because you will be better off for it.  Please feel free to contact me at any time through this forum, and I will help you as much as I can.  My husband sees someone every month, just to chat and talk about what’s happening with me/us.  Try to take some time out for yourself too.  Get pampered every so often. I hope this helps you in some way.   All the best Sonia ... View more