Hey Lampwork54, Just a quiet note to say ‘high fives’ on finishing your radiation, even as your friend starts their journey, it’s a massive milestone, I’m so relieved for you. It must feel weird and great knowing your time is yours again (mostly), I hope this weekend is full of rest and you get to do stuff you enjoy. Chat soon! cheers, Claire
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Hi Phil, I love that no matter how shit things are you manage to find more jokes about shit. I believe it, along with caring is your superpower as @Lampwork54 just mentioned. I’m really sorry about your friend. You questioned whether you’ll be strong enough to cope with this, supporting your friend- so I offer you this. If it’s love you feel, the well of strength is limitless. It’s not broken by the disease but bolstered by it. I’m sure of it. Just read this thread and all the others about doing what needs to be done. We do it when we’re tired and almost broken because in the end, loving is all that matters. I like to think this disease doesn’t change our capacity, just transforms it. You’ve totally got this, and if you don’t, we’ve got you. Send your friend here- we can dance, (I’m particularly bad at the robot). plenty of ears, virtual hugs, bad jokes, questionable song choices and super warm hearts to go around.
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There will be days like this How is everyone going on this slightly grey, slightly sunny day? I’m okay, first week with only 2 medical appointments instead of 3 or 4, and praise all good things, I’ve finished clexane daily injections! But my oncology meeting is nxt Tuesday, and just this last week I’ve been experiencing brutal joint pain in my hands, elbows, shoulders and knees. I’m scared, every little ache or twinge sends my mind running, but this is it right? - there will be days like this. @PhilPepper where are you buddy? Are you ok? @Lampwork54 how are you today? @Budgie whats news? @RJG Got a favourite Friday song? @Katekat we are at 176 comments! Reckon we can have a cancer comments party here? @sch Hows it going for you- plans for the weekend? Hope you’re all doing ok today 👍🏼 Claire
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just saw you’re back to doing H-time! I second Ricks question- what happened?
and how are you doing today? Hope you got a window seat and they’re offering you drinks and tasty morsels 🤢
on a more serious side- can your family bring you something decent to eat?
i really hope you’re feeling a bit better today, and am thinking of you.
heres a song for you
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Rick! No conversation killers here- just tardiness on my response, I kind slipped into the pajama, couch, movie sinkhole thing where you only come up for air, food, and meds. Even now, I'm dressed but the TV is on pause ready for another few hours of mindless absorption. I did make it out to the garden to pick some greens for my morning smoothie which is progress I suppose. Totally agree- choosing your attitude is everything-I do remember Fish! The approach is similar to something we do in Tibetan Buddhism of checking in. Setting a daily intention, checking whether you did it and then not beating yourself up about it, but trying to stick to it the next day. I really Love the guerilla-style owning of the disease with evangelical conversation starters-it's brilliant. It's something I'd love to understand a bit more. Possibly because I'm starting to deal with return to pre-diagnosis stuff and I'm starting to get a bit worried about it all. As background, From the date of my surgery (10th of August), I've been given until the 17th of September to recover. I should note I had surgery just before that too. So back to back I've had 2 surgeries- one on the 6th of July, one on the 10th of August, cancer diagnosis in the middle and now I have just shy of 3 weeks to get back to "normal". I have an oncology appointment on the 17th of September, where we'll talk about treatment, physio etc, and my boss has already started asking me when I'm coming back. It's freaking me out. I'm not ready, physically, there's a whole bunch of things that just aren't working right yet, bathroom stuff, I can't drive, can't sit up for longer than an hour, sleep is still a mess, but I'm also still a bit of a mess mentally too. I don't feel mentally strong enough for the 100 conversations with co-workers in hallways about my health. We live rurally, 1.5 hours out of Melbourne, in the middle of potato country. If someone wants to visit I'm so thankful because it's a massive hike to get here and back. It's weird, I'm okay with those kinds of conversations, the intimate chats and catching up over lunch at home, but the idea of putting on work clothes (pants are an issue right now! TMI!) , getting to the train station (34 minutes from here), on the train (1 hour from melbourne), walking from the train to work (15 minutes) and then doing a day of work fills me with tiredness and dread before I even start. How did you go about that? I'd love to hear about how you transitioned from recovery back into the "light".... By the way, Phil says you have cows. We still need photos of cows. Cheers, Claire
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Hey Phil, you may may be right- I need to dance but I just can’t find the right song for my mood at the moment. All I can say is hard cheese is better than no cheese- It’s something! Life without cheese, I can’t even go there. Re #3. Yep! I have 7 more injections to go and then I’m going to have a clexane closing out party where I just stare at my stomach for about 3 hours lovingly and whisper ‘it’s okay baby’ to my navel. It’s gonna be sweet. Re abs, I’m not allowed to do any exercises on my stomach at all for 3 months apparently while the muscles knit back together. It’s a hot, scarred mess down there- I’m thinking spanks for life. The gurdle type, not the other spank. But yes, on the ever increasing list of ‘when I’m a bit better’ is some kind of exercise, probably sit ups while eating soft cheese with my right hand and alternating crunches with a lunge for wine with my left. I jest. No wine for me. Unless it’s a special occasion like Tuesday, or it’s sunny. Okay I’ll stop now I’m just being silly. By the way, having the light on is also practical, I have to do this weird slip and roll thing to get out of bed, impossible to do in the dark- and on my own. Getting up and down 5-10 times a night at the moment, it’s annoying me and my husband too. So it’s a combo of fear of darkness, personal injury and waking my husband. The light stays on for now. I think it’s interesting about your singlet, I’m also going to sleep with a scarf on and a beanie/ my head and neck seem to be where I feel the cold most- no chemo either and haven’t done it before, wonder why that is? I reckon your idea of the singlet and several layers for your bag is genius though, whatever you have to do to feel okay right? AND I saw your photo all dressed up looking Schmick as! Im currently rocking a deathly grey tone as opposed to my usual blue-ish tone and weirdly scaley skin suit, so I’m now putting dressing up on my list of things to do and investing in some decent moisturiser. And hugs for my cancer kin- never karate kicks! hope you’re enjoying your weekend, and making some music!
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Hey Lampwork, So good to hear from you. re the kids coming over, I reckon if you’re not up to it just answer the door in your PJs. Monosyllabic answers. Have the TV on. Or just tell them you need some ‘me’ time. It’s hard isn’t it? I tustle between wanting company but then feeling like I need to prepare for company which is exhausting. In our family, you’d never have guests over without offering a bite to eat, and a cuppa- then the visit is a long rambling convo. I’ve had a steady stream of people coming and visiting. There are only 3 people who come over where I know they’ll bring stuff, make tea, and help. Otherwise I’m spent and so tired within an hour. The weird thing I’m noticing is the ‘soppy eyes’- that’s my lingo for sympathy eyes, I know you will know what I mean. Friends who look at you like there’s no hope. Then I find myself saying ‘oh it’s okay, I’m good’ then they cry and I’m trying to reassure them. I’d just prefer to be alone. I cant imagine how you must be feeling with your mouth and neck, I just think you’re a powerhouse- so freaking courageous to own your vulnerability and step through it anyway. The only consolation is that people are so wrapped up in themselves that maybe they notice something but it’s just fleeting. Re the sleep, the trauma, the light and dark- it’s all a process right? I’m so glad you’re getting good rest, it makes a difference. For me, I need to hang all my fears out and talk with raw abandon to my psychologist next week. I’m a bit crap in that I gloss over things and try to be brave, but I know now is the time to be honest about it all so I get all the help I need. There’s something in that. It comes back to honesty. I reckon that’s the biggest gift cancer has given us- cutting through BS to be real. I hope you’re having a good Saturday xxx
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I’m hoping in your top 5 inventions is: 1. All Cheese 2. Gooey cheese - Triple Brie, Camembert 3. Medium soft cheese- Havarti, Swiss, provolone etc 4. Fresh cheeses- mascarpone, mozzarella, cottage cheese, fettas 5. Hard cheeses- grana padano, pecorino, parmigiana Reggiano All hail to giver of joys- cheese.
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Cancer Council NSW would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work.We would also like to pay respect to elders past and present and extend that respect to all other Aboriginal people.