It's a tough decision to make and one I thought I'd be making myself only a couple of months ago (my cancer turned out to be a different type than they first thought so that totally changed the treatment options). Having seen several people go through treatment for head and neck cancers, I knew that I would decline treatment in favour of a better quality of life for a shorter period. So I fully understand your choice. Tell the people you think will support you and the people with whom you want to spend time. You don't need to tell everyone you know. No-one has an automatic right to know and it gets exhausting and intrusive if too many people are bothering you for information. As for when, I would think about what kind of time you want to spend with people. Are there things you want to do with close family and friends before your health deteriorates further or is it really just their company and support you want no matter your state of health? I don't think there's a "right" time, but I told people in stages - family first and then a handful of close friends a few weeks later. If you want people to keep it to themselves, make sure you tell them that, too. Feel free to drop in just to chat. It helps sort out the mental clutter. Have you talked to your specialists about palliative care? It's as much about giving you the best quality of life possible while you're relatively healthy as it is about end of life care and it's good to get them involved earlier so you're already plugged in when your care needs change.
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