Fully agree with little stitcher ....... you are not weak or selfish.  You are a human being who is going through a emotionally traumatic experience.  Please find ways and people with whom you can release the hurt and pain ..... emotions are like a volcano, they will erupt at some time and you trying to bottle the emotions currently will lead to potential for massive eruption at sometime, usually happens at the most inappropriate time or place.   there are lots of us here who understand how you are feeling and are happy to talk etc.   bit about me - I was a daddy’s girl when I was young.  My dad had a stroke when I was 12yrs which changed his behaviour to the point I was terrified of him.  When I was 16yrs my mum and I fled our family home for our personal safety.  Not long before I turned 21yrs my dad died, due to his various health issues it was a relief for him.  Even though things had not been good between us for over 8yrs I still remember feeling the heartache and the tears when my dad died.   During those years I grew very close to my mum and shared decades with her until she died end of 2006.  Even though I cared for my mum for last 5mths of her life I couldn’t see how her health is fading.  Her death hit me hugely to the point I considered suicide.  The pain I felt when she died was agony but I can’t compare it to the pain and emotional nightmares I have had, and still have, following being told in October last yr that my husband of 5 yrs has stage 4 pancreatic cancer.       ... View more

My mother in-law bear breast cancer twice but in May 2015 we lost her to stomach based cancer.  She was diagnosed only couple of months before she passed away in palliative care unit in facility in our town.  My husband is suffering emotionally and physically quite badly as part of his recent hospital stay which lasted for 10 days.  Because he is unsteady on his feet doctors & physio in local hospital wanted him to go to sam3 unit as where his mum passed away -original info was it was for physio for 1to 2weeks but last time it was mentioned they talked about May 6 to 8 weeks in that unit.  He was discharged from hospital today and is unsteady on his feet but he is home.  I have been advised palliative care in community nurse will be in contact with me within few days plus occ therapist to attend home to assess for electric recliner plus couple of items for our bed.  Dva have fully funded cost of robots cushion, hoping they cover cost of other items ... View more

Initial refer to hospital for tests from gp was my husband had been treated for gastro on and off for 6 to 8 weeks but wasn’t getting better.  Night before we saw go he said his abdom hurt and he just felt tired and unwell.  He went to bed early, the morning found him no better.  Gp referred my hospital for abdomen scans in search of answers.  Scans found blood clot in base of one lung and tumours, 1 in pancreas and 4 in liver.  After 3 days he was discharged and about 1week later in outpatients we were told he had terminal pancreatic cancer.  His oncologist has agreed chemo isn’t working for my husband and is actually destroying his body.   ... View more

He is to be discharged tomorrow....... now to gradually try to heal the mind, get him with his anxiety and build up the physical body.  Seeing a grown man of mid 60’s cry ini gets like a 5 to 10 year old child because he couldn’t come home on day he wanted  and to see him emotionally fighting with the tears each day for last 5 days has been so draining ... View more

My husband is stage 4 pancreatic cancer and was from time of diagnosis in October last year. ... View more

He appears at times to still have bit of chest infection but nurses in oncology ward are not worried, think it is made worse by stress and anxiety.  He has now been in hospital for 9 days are we are starting to see little bits of health improvement.  He has become extremely depressed this time in hospital and has lost interest in eating majority of the time.  His oncologist confirmed about a week ago that chemo isn’t working for him, he shouldn’t be suffering like he has been and that stopping chemo is best option for his general health.  Oncologist advised he fully believes my husband would not have survived many more chemo treatments. ... View more

Nurse today advised he will have blood transfusion this afternoon as both red and white cell count is slightly below acceptable level.  She advised notes on file re potassium etc is about topping him up in preparation of discharge to home this coming week.  She advised I will be advised on morning of discharge when decision is made but is most likely to be early week as compared to late week.   ... View more

After everything I have been doing to help and support my husband including verbally struggling with dr to discharge him straight to home today my husband for no reason yelled at me to get out of his room, go home and not to come back until the day he is discharged.  He was no nasty in his tone, it hurt hearing the words.  I was sitting on a chair beside his bed so I pushed the chair away from the bed but just sat there for awhile waiting to see what was going to happen next.  Staff came in and asked him about a drink, he was quite pleasant and asked for coffee.  Not long after the staff member left his room he once again told me to leave which I did.  Originally I was thinking that I would give him tomorrow to himself but am going to have to go to see him as I have all his clean PJ’s plus his elderly dad wants me to take him in to see my husband tomorrow.  I will go in tomorrow even though part of me doesn’t want to.   ... View more

Only health issues I have been told about are his cancer, cellulitis, odema in both legs (that appears to have been there for decades), AF (but he is not on medication for this), ongoing chest infections and currently mouth ulcers.  Only other things that I have been tol is his potassium and phosphate are low, he is slightly unsteady on his feet and for last couple of days wants to sleep for majority of the day.  There was discussion with him by a dr about a PEG but nothing else. ... View more

I took the day off work on Thursday and gave myself a TLC day.  My stepson and I visited my husband that afternoon and things were looking and sounding good including within himself ..... all that changed yesterday.  Prior to speaking to me a palliative care doctor told my husband that when he is discharged from oncology ward in the hospital he will be transferred to palliative care unit at facility in out same town for 2weeks.  Later hat morning via phone calli was told the same thing.  There was no consultation in the decision.  Things I told that doctor ...... my mother in law died in that exact unit only few yrs age from cancer, my husbands cancer has ignited the grieving process from loosing his mum so this was not good option or thoughts ..... we were told on Wednesday he would be coming home upon discharge ...... he is already quite depressed and sending to that unit would only make his depression worse.  When I asked why they want to send him to another hospital type facility I was told it is best place for him to do rehab to help improve his stability on his feet, his mouth ulcers are still healing and that they have nursing staff on deck.  I queried why can he not come home and have physio either attended our home or he be driven by me to local community centre from rehab - there was no immediate reply.  Doctors has written in his chart in hospital that he is to be given Cochin mouthwash before each meal, salt water mouthwash after each meal and antiseptic mouthwash 3times each day.  I queried if this has to be done by nursing staff and was advised it could possibly be approved to have few days of each at home for me to give him.  When I mentioned I can be on leave or 2 weeks from date of discharge from hospital and that there will be my husband plus 3 or 4 other adults in the house to assist for at least 2 weeks hence I don’t understand reasoning to make decision to send him to facility that is only to cause more stress and anxiety for my husband and his family the only reply I got was,...... we might have to look at the decision again.  When I got into his room last evening my husband was obviously quite distressed and upset.  Nurses had given him heat pack as he couldn’t get warm.  When I tried to leave about 7:30 last night he begged me to ask the nurses for blankets and pillows for me so I could sleep in his room, he didn’t want to be alone last night.  I finally left his room about 8:15 when he was almost asleep.  He was laying under 6 blankets but said he was still cold ...... the shock to his system was affecting him so badly.  His day shift nurse who I met last evening was so caring, she came into his room and told him that she was going to dinner but would be back soon and would see him before she finished her shift.  She noticed he was getting upset and immediately grabbed his hand and held it while she calmly logically talked him through the upset.  She came back to his room just before finishing and asked if she got help either of us with anything........ most of his nurses have been good but that one yesterday was amazing in her level of care and ways of comforting him ... View more