I know this is an old thread but I agree it's good to help out others. I'm interested in getting involved in the Connect program but apparently I have to wait 2 years but will make enquiries anyhow. ... View more

Thanks for the replies everyone. Zen I can relate to that feeling of things passing by, missing out. I feel pressure on one hand to be getting a new job in the same large employer where I am as next year I could be at risk of losing my current job that I'm overqualified for (too complicated to explain) so want to be in something where I'm using my quals and skills to be in a more secure job. But at the same time recognise the need to allow time to heal and my current job being part time helps with that. I did apply for the job. I got hold of the health declaration form and discussed it with everyone and I can either choose not to diclose or to disclose and the hospital would write a letter and the breast care nurse said she would be happy to do a role play where I practice what I'm going to say to her. Anyhow it's looking like I didn't get it but may end up on an eligibility list for future opportunities (should get a letter in a couple of weeks) which will be the best outcome as I would be more ready down the track. I was also studying at uni part time so have chased up going back instead as I can either do 3 subjects over 2 days (1 1/2 days actually) or if too much drop one and only go 1/2 day pw as one is by correspondence. Jules I hope the rotator cuff tear mends very soon for you. ... View more

Can understand how you feel. Chemo can be a real drudge and I'm sure the chemicals affect ones mood as well. I found that after a few taxol treatments I was feeling flat and down and have noticed an improvement since finishing up treatment. I feel also that 3 months seems to be the maximum time limit friends are there for you and then things go back to normal and emotional support becomes less. I've found particularly hard those that say "we must get together" but won't comit to a definite arrangment. Then it's "it's because we're busy". Do they think that doing cancer is a life of leisure or something!!!! And that's for people who aren't working so for those who have young kids still to care for or jobs to maintain to continue an income or fear of job loss. Then there was one friend who we had endless discussions of suitable places to go to suit her very young daughter, suitable times for her and nothing eventuated and it all seemed to be around her and her needs. Then when she had a party and I wanted to come she was very cool and oh it's along way but no we'd love to see you, you'll be made to feel really welcome by my friends, anything I can do to make it easier for you and I do feel bad I haven't made the effort to come out your way but can fix that. Anyhow no easy answers but I know I feel the pressure to be positive feeling that if I did ask for things, support, talk about my fears etc rather than aiming to be postiive and fun to be with that no one would want to see me. I do have to say that at work I no longer go the extra yard to win over people who do not seem to like me because I've got a quiet manner by continuing to chat to them, noticing their special things and interests and enquiring about them when it's not reciprocated and so and it's quite refreshing in some ways. ... View more

Yes I agree do enjoy your time off and do lots of fun things. My hair is also growing back after chemo, grey but not sure if this will change but I've brought some semi permanent hair dyes and have put one in to make it brown. Anyhow hopefully when you need to go back on chemo they'll be able to find one more compatable and with less side effects. ... View more

Firstly Jill sorry to hear of your loss. I have been reading through your blog and you and your sons have been through a very very difficult time. Also sorry to hear about your having to go through applying for death certificates and so forth at such a difficult time. It's interesting how people react. I'm sure it's out of awkwardness but it can be those that are less close that offer support whilst the closest ones don't. And it's a difficult time to go chasing people when one doesn't have the energy or feel why should I. But maybe a group email stating what type of support you need in this time could help. The leader of a support group I attend mentions that society seems to expect us to get over a significant loss and bereavement in about 6 weeks and that's when people tend to move away emotionally when of course loss and grieving takes a very long time. Anyhow hugs and thinking of you. DJ ... View more

Jules the idea of someone being assigned to the patient is the way to go. Some breast cancer patients have a breast care nurse who plays that role. That person is like a case manager and makes sure that everything is discussed and explained, information given about support groups and events such as look good feel better and generally acts as someone to go to for anything and can act as a referral to other services ie psychologist, social worker etc. Thus I think that's what all cancer patients should have is a care nurse or case manager who is knowledgable about the type of cancer and treatment. ... View more

Hi Willow Sorry to hear that your supervisor is being such a you know what about things. It is difficult working with cancer and the aftermath and important that you are able to either work part time or take the time off to get better. Don't resign but instead get a medical certificate saying you are unfit and see HR again. I would suggest that you contact the Cancer Council Helpline for some advice and also the Federal Human Rights Commission and Fair Work office for some advice on your situation. Hugs DJ ... View more

Dear Jewel I am sorry to hear of your loss and send you hugs as you are missing your husband terribly. In the support group I attend the leader says that society seems to expect people to get over their loss within a few weeks and people tend to drift away at that point whilst in reality it takes a very very long time. Hugs DJ ... View more

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Yes I guess it depends on how they ask the question and some awkwardness as well. Sometimes it can be of concern when the person wants to really know how you are but not sure how one wishes to react. This woman at my busstop has twigged I'm undergoing cancer treatment so asked in a concerned manner and then when I wasn't forth coming, as I wasn't expecting the question, chatted about other things. I guess it also comes down to the person asking ie someone close you feel you can talk to or say as well as can be expected or it's hard but I'd prefer to chat about other things like what you've been up to as I'm not up to talking about it. My advice is to be brief but honest and communicate how you do want their support saying if you'd like to or not like to talk about it. But yes it is hard. ... View more