hey thanks for the great comments everyone!! ... View more

G'day Cherrybird This year is the centenary of my school, so there are lots of things going on. So far I have avoided them and feel guilty that I have no plans to attend any. I owe a lot to that school and it's teachers, but I was the youngest and smallest in the class so socially it was not a great time for me. Sport was a time of dread and fortunately a few of the more sensitive teachers realised this and some of them always managed to have a few tasks for me to do that could get me out of sport. Sport seemed to be the supreme realm of the bullies and I still cannot get interested in it at all. But what I remember most was the verbal viciousness of some of the female students - if you weren't one of the alpha males then you were the butt of their sarcasm, viciousness and withering put downs. Any self esteem I might have had took a severe beating and that sense of lack of worth stayed with me for many years. Looking back it was interesting that clearly a number of teachers and mentors thought I had leadership potential. I was given some opportunities while quite young and was surprised when things went well. That sense of lack of worth and surprise when things worked out stayed with me for a long long time and it was not until well into middle age that I realised that I could actually perform in a leadership position. So your comments about school and self esteem resonate with me. School reunions - I went to one once. As I went in the gate it was as if I was expected to regress to what things were like when I was there - to go into a state of arrested adolescence, to accept the pecking order that existed back then. Most of those who had been the alpha males and females had achieved very little with their lives and I found I couldn't be bothered playing their games. It was a great to meet with some of the still surviving teachers who had seen my potential and to see their delight that I had achieved some of the potential they saw in me. Your comments about the satisfaction from routine work also resonate. There is enormous satisfaction about doing something that is routine and quite menial, making a challenge and having rewards. Yes - we have to live each day as it is, accept the responsibilities that go with that, and not base our decisions on what might happen. Cheers Sailor He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. Leonardo da Vinci ... View more

hi Cherrybird - what a great name! I am a 3 year survivor of bowel cancer and have a great prognosis so far. that doesn't mean that I can't empathise with you about what people say - even with the best intentions. I'm glad that you had a great night and hope that your sister did as well despite her difficulties. What a hard slog for you both. The gentic thing is odd isn't it. Both my parents had bowel cancer (are still going strong at 84) but mine was a different type. Wouldn't you know. Keep the blogs coming. Samex ... View more

Hi I hardly ever get on this site anymore so don't know when you wrote your msg. I am nearly three years post diagnosis and am feeling good. I used to worry all the time about a recurrence and about having Triple Negative cancer but these days I don't think about it nearly so much. I know quite a few people with breast cancer but none with TN. I will check here from time to time to see if you have sent a msg now that I know you are out there. 🙂 I hope you are doing ok now. The physcologist is a good idea - I saw one too and she really helped me to stay focused on what was important and to help me realise that I still had a lot of living to do. Good luck with your journey and if you feel the need to talk, ask questions or just vent, please write again. Take care, kind regards, Willow xo ... View more