Hang on there,  I really cant answer any of your questions, as I'm new in this subject, love to help you thou. You seem to gone trough a lot, I'm learning from you. Keep posting, we are here to support . ... View more

Friday the 13th...I hade my operation today, to remove the "pea" from my breast.It took whole day in a Hospital...Everything went well. I'm home now, and finally feeling again.Last 4 weeks been like an AUTOPILOT for me. Going to one doctor or Specialist to another, I did not realise at how highly strung I been, I thought I was doing OK, taking one day at time.Not at all....Now I'm home, safely home, feeling secure...And my tears are running like a river, It feels at I can rest now,all that stress been eating me, making me extremely tense and I been cold, superhuman, active,,, and all my feelings been in a back burner. It's like at my mind, body been taken over for a while, just like an automatic pilot.So, now I cry a big time...It's over,, there wasnt any tenticles under my cyst, it was a cyst.Even at it's gone to lab, for diagnosis..I just say at I had a drive in a rollercoaster for a while..Sorry, If I blubber like this, but I need to share it... Thank you for lisstening.. ... View more

Butterfly wrote.. "I know it's such a shock to be told you have cancer & then having to worry about everything else in life, like paying the bills & having support is really hard."   I like to add on that, TV is bombarding us with commercials, at how much funerals costs, borrow money, and most irritating is the ones, at we need to pay for it all, so they send insurance messages, so your family would survive after we are gone. I find it so depressing, so I express my angry feelings about it here. We are in soft touch at a moment, and we dont need that pressure. I feel at we demand to have a quiet time with our selves, with our family, on our own time & chedule. Without this bombartment from TV..  I been thinking of my finances too, planning and plotting my childs future, it has taken few sleepless nights. Then I got in to a conclusion, at I better say NO, I dont need that pressure, not now. I am the most important person in a world, so I better spoil myself a bit, chocholates, short holiday, treat myself with something good, to get myself something what I have wanted all my life, small or big, but very special, (spend like there is no tomorrow) thing, but not going over your means. Time out from everyday huzzle and puzzle. Even a nice small lunch in a best restaurant in a town. Dress up on your best and enjoy most of it. Feel like King / Queen for the day. I bought myself a nice flowering potplant, Its sitting on my kitchen window, saying hello for me, for this beatifull new day...   ... View more

Thank you Jean, your group sounds like real funny bunch of people.   Todays joke.. "I dont want you to bring your dog in to the house. Its full of fleas" she said. "Rusty, stay out of the house. Its full of fleas". My cat Sphinx got over exited, there was a pigeon on our balcony,  she got down on her hunches, wiggled her bottom, ready to pounch,,,,,, Yeas she took a big leap speeded right on to screen door, bouched back, bird took a flight.. I could not stop laughing, as she looked at me with her shameface look.. Am I bad, I said sorry later and gave her a extra yammy meal afterwards, to release me from shaming her.. But she is still sulking... ... View more

I like to add my congrats here too. I found this site on a small article on Newspaper. My mum passed 2 years ago by cancer, she lived on other side of the world, so I never got really close to the issue, meanwhile my cousin battled on with chemo, I did not to know at what to say, so I shyly distanced myself. Honestly I really did not know at how to. Worrying at I say a wrong word, not being over conserned, or ignoring it by jokes, I feel guilty just because I didnt educate myself, and she closed up too. She is still with us, no more chemo, back to everyday life, working etc.. Now we are building up our relationship. It is mostly me, who says sorry many times over. As my eyes opens, cancer issue been talked and mentioned a lot, but there is some hidden stigma, hard subject to talk about. So I deeply thank you cancersupportonline, for all informative info here, and forum at we can openly express our feelings.     ... View more

Quijote...I know at you feel shit about me, so do I...At least your treatment is starting to work, I agree, "die you bastards cells". It is good to get angry and let it out.I'm not forgetting anything, I still have a gray cloud hovering over my head. Nothing is certain until that cyst of mine has been diagnosed. I was trying to fit in to these new shoes, and I'm not the same anymore, thats for sure. I got a new understanding, love for a life, and nicer personality, that may or may not shine to outside world, but a drop in a Ocean makes the Ocean when there is many enough. All my love to you.. ... View more

 Hello all, Sorry if I dont talk too much personally... It is Monday, saw my specialist today, got me booked to hospital, to have my CYST removed. He said at its a cyst. Hoo haa,, I feel GOOD. He got me in on Friday the 13th. Lucky day...... In local anaesthetic, that sounds good, ja... I can breathe again.. I feel kind of quilty, at things sounds good, and getting all support from you guys. I hope at they wont find anything else, and it is only a cyst. ... As soon I know, I will you know. My deepest Love to you all.. ... View more

Ooops, computer did show my post twice.. ... View more

Hi there.. Next week I got an another doctors appointment, I hate this seeing one and going to next and next and next and next. They just sending me back and forth all a time. Next Monday I see an another one, who is supposed to get me to hospital Operation, to get the pea cut out. If I hade a knife myself, sharp enough, I would cut it out myself. Its just under the skin, and not deep inside. See I'm getting a bit frustrated here. I want action, right now... I took few days of last week, took my car to South Coast rented a beach front cabin, walked on a beach and collected my thoughts, or actually running away for a few days. I feel calmer now, talked with waves, scrreamed my lungs out, asked fullmoon for support, cryed my eyes out,,, It helpt to get this extra angst out.. Huh, Zeech I feel stronger now. What ever happens next, let it happen, and I'm just floating with the waves, no more resistance.... Acceptance I think its called. ... View more

 Hi you all, I got test results of my mammogrph and scans, all clear. My Doc said at they are not 100% secure, so next to get biobsy of the lump. It took few days to collect my courage, other words to hype myself to see my Doc. I was ready, then I felt confused again, like missing out, (it may sound funny). I was ready for more serious answers. Feeling mislead, I feel at I have misslead you other posters with nothing. I go for biobsy and see what next. Take care..   ... View more