April 2015
I found Pramin to be the most helpful (12 weeks FEC chemo / 8 weeks Taxol) and always took them regardless as a precautionary measure. It seems to be a lot easier to try and prevent the nausea than to help it subside once its struck if that makes sense.
Ginger tea and small sips of whatever fluids you can tolerate (even water tasted putrid for me) was helpful as well.
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April 2015
It really is a bizarre thing what happens with time, particularly in those first few weeks of hearing the diagnosis. It seems to slow down whilst you're waiting for results, speed up when you're being poked and prodded through a multitude of tests then all repeats over itself.
I'm 18 months out from learning I had breast cancer and looking back on everything it just seems like a crazy whirlwind of events.
Sending lots of strength and healthy wishes your way whilst you start on the rollercoaster ride.
x P
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April 2015
Hi Kirri
I too have been in the situation you are going through, having cared for my dad on and off with his various cancers for 7 years and now just out from my own breast cancer battle in the last 18 months. Its so hard to be strong all the time, I too often get referred to as being that way.
There's no magic thing I can say except that whilst hard, try to remember your needs as well. I have had many friendships dissolve both through being a carer and then having cancer myself. I'm learning that its sometimes necessary and can open up doors for new friendships that are better for us at a particular stage in our lives.
I hope you're doing okay and big hugs! x
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March 2015
PS. Bravo for finding this forum and for expressing what you're going through. I can honestly say that it was one person's experiences on this site that got me through the last few weeks with dad. If I hadn't had posted on here it would have been a much scarier experience. Reaching out is difficult but big hugs to you for having done so! 🙂
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March 2015
PS. Bravo for finding this forum and for expressing what you're going through. I can honestly say that it was one person's experiences on this site that got me through the last few weeks with dad. If I hadn't had posted on here it would have been a much scarier experience. Reaching out is difficult but big hugs to you for having done so! 🙂
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March 2015
Hi Garyowencat
What feels like a lifetime ago now my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 6 months. It had always just been he and I as I'm an only child and my mum had passed away when I was only 18 months old.
6 months turned into 7 years in the end before he passed of secondary breast cancers, not the initial pancreatic diagnosis.
Caring for him as well as my own kids (single mum at the time) was one of the hardest experiences I think I will ever go through in my life. I've since survived an aggressive breast cancer diagnosis myself and I still look back on going through that with him as even more difficult than my own challenges.
It is simply brutal at times and there are really no words to explain it in its full entirety. A lot of what everyone will tell you will probably not fix things for you however I will say that it is okay to feel the way you will at times. It is exhausting, emotionally and physically. It is scary and it is such a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that in all honesty, no one really understands until they've walked that path themselves. Try not to feel guilty, you have to look after yourself through it all as well, as hard as that is.
Being a few years on the otherside now, I can tell you that you will get through it but try as best you can to allow yourself to experience the feelings that result from the care you're giving.
My dad eventually deteriorated very very quickly when the cancer spread to the lining of his brain. It went from him experiencing vertigo and nausea to no longer being with us. It was the most surreal three weeks of my life and I honestly thought I was losing the plot. I have no idea how I got through it but I guess I did and finally his suffering was over. I even still feel guilt about the emotions I experienced when I was caring for him over the seven years and particularly in those last weeks, yet I try to keep it in perspective and remember that it was just plain hard.
I'm not sure this makes sense and I've rambled on a bit. Hang in there is such a blase phrase sometimes but its sometimes all we can do. xx
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March 2015
Hi Garyowencat
What feels like a lifetime ago now my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given 6 months. It had always just been he and I as I'm an only child and my mum had passed away when I was only 18 months old.
6 months turned into 7 years in the end before he passed of secondary breast cancers, not the initial pancreatic diagnosis.
Caring for him as well as my own kids (single mum at the time) was one of the hardest experiences I think I will ever go through in my life. I've since survived an aggressive breast cancer diagnosis myself and I still look back on going through that with him as even more difficult than my own challenges.
It is simply brutal at times and there are really no words to explain it in its full entirety. A lot of what everyone will tell you will probably not fix things for you however I will say that it is okay to feel the way you will at times. It is exhausting, emotionally and physically. It is scary and it is such a roller coaster of emotions and experiences that in all honesty, no one really understands until they've walked that path themselves. Try not to feel guilty, you have to look after yourself through it all as well, as hard as that is.
Being a few years on the otherside now, I can tell you that you will get through it but try as best you can to allow yourself to experience the feelings that result from the care you're giving.
My dad eventually deteriorated very very quickly when the cancer spread to the lining of his brain. It went from him experiencing vertigo and nausea to no longer being with us. It was the most surreal three weeks of my life and I honestly thought I was losing the plot. I have no idea how I got through it but I guess I did and finally his suffering was over. I even still feel guilt about the emotions I experienced when I was caring for him over the seven years and particularly in those last weeks, yet I try to keep it in perspective and remember that it was just plain hard.
I'm not sure this makes sense and I've rambled on a bit. Hang in there is such a blase phrase sometimes but its sometimes all we can do. xx
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November 2013
Hi MelbourneBoy
I have read a couple of your posts and unfortunately know too well what you are going through and feeling. I lost my dad to breast cancer (metastasised to his brain in the end) after a 7 year battle with various different cancers starting with pancreatic. When he was first diagnosed and after whipple surgery we were told he would not live past 6 months at the most as his cancer was particularly aggressive and wouldn't respond to chemo. We were blessed with 7 years in the end and he got to see my children grow from toddlers to young men.
I found it hard to be positive at times, with good news came the reminder of the not so good. I was his main support, as we had no other family in Victoria and he was a widower, myself an only child. It wasn't easy.
You might find that once the initial shock settles, the chance to appreciate things and the time you have will return. There will be ups and downs (understatement sorry) but you will find beautiful times amidst the challenges.
The one thing I can recommend is that you make sure you support yourself - counselling can help, support groups, this forum of course! Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself when you don't feel like 'appreciating the time you have left' for every day will be different and its OK to feel sad, angry, and every other emotion under the sun.
I'm starting to ramble and not even sure this even makes sense!
Just wanted to say its tough, but just do the best you can do to tackle each day.
Peta
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November 2013
Only two years after my dad lost his battle it seems we are not being granted any reprieve from the constant shadow of cancer. Today's mammogram results abnormal... biopsy now to happen on Monday and we go from there.
If it was anyone else, I'd be the first to be preaching 'stay positive', 'the odds are great these days' however in my case, its not so simple with a family history such as this:
Great Grandmother had a full mastectomy and radium treatment.
Grandfather had a full mastectomy.
Grandmother a lumpectomy and radiation.
My father, well there was more cancer in his body than not.
BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations in a large percent of my family and while having one male with breast cancer / gene mutations is rare - two males is somewhat unprecedented again adding to the already insanely high risk. With two sons myself, this is what scares me the most - now if only they'd hurry up with my genetic test results!
So here we go on this wonderful journey, that at the age of 37 I hoped was not one I had to take quite so soon... definitely one I expected but it would have been nice to have a bit of reprieve.
What no one seems to understand is that even if Monday's biopsy results are benign, being quite young, I have a pretty long future of living with such high risk. Here comes the roller coaster ride...
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May 2013
Hi EJB. I lost my dad nearly two years ago after a 7 year battle and just wanted to send HUGE hugs to you and your family.
My father raised me and was my best friend. I feel your sadness when you talk about not having him around to see you get married and meet your future children. Its not selfish at all to want for those things.
I hope that the time you have is able to be cherished and remembered. Sending lots of strength your way.
- P x
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