Had my forth session on Wednesday. No. 3 the doctor dropped off the blarmison or what ever it's called. The B of the ABVD (for Hodgkins lymphoma). This was due to my lung function test, I'm still stuffed up and healing from the lung surgery. This last treatment I got a minor cold, runny nose and mild sore throat which thankfully didn't progress into anything more. My bloods came back borderline on low. Neutrophils were 1.5, hb was 111, I started with 136 and my platelets have always even higher than normal at around 478. This time they were 'normal' for the first time at 346. Lucky I had a lot of them to loose. Already this is shaping up to be a really crap session, I'm still positive and all but the symptoms are slowly getting a lot worse. My eyes are always dry and painful or uncontrolebly watering in the wind. I'm so vague I can't follow a conversation too well. I'm just plain tired. Still sticking through, exited that I'm 1/3 of the way and after 2 more treatments I get to have another pet scan that will tell me if I'm kicking cancers ass. I guess to pass on the info to help others not feel alone one of the hardest things for me to deal with is intimacy with my beautiful devoted partner. It's not exactally on the top of my list of things to do. I know he understands but I hate feeling like I'm disappointing, I mean in my head it works but in reality I am dealing with chemo and cancer. Also my hair has thinned a great deal, but if I shave it short you can't tell, it's when it grows about 1cm that you see the patches and fluffy bits left. I don't mind I've decided not to wig it, everyone has complemented me on how much it suits me. I'm quite young and I was born a Caesarian so I guess I pull it off. My partner and I went to dinner and the waiter complemented me then asked if I minded if he could know what actually made me decide to shave my head, I told him it was cancer and he was shocked the look on his face was like 'shit I crossed the line' I then laughed and said thanks for the complement I mean you can't tell it's patchy I don't look like I have cancer, he said not at all and it really actually suits you. That was a great night. That's pretty much my update. Just hanging in there, I hope this has helped someone. Also thanks to everyone who replies. I know I suck a little because I don't respond often but the alert email comes straight to my phone and the replies always put a smile on my face, that and it's been a while because I forgot my password and never got around to doing anything about it, hahaha. Just thought I'd share. ... View more

Me again, so I'm due for my 2nd round of ABVD chemo on Wednesday. My oncologist gave me 2 days worth of Kytral ( an anti nausea drug) but I was admitted on the 3rd day for some fluids and more medication. I'm guessing I need at least 5 days worth. I guess trial and error. So far my experience has been completely different to what I thought it would be. For the better part of this week I have been fine in a sense, I have a few aches and pains most still from the major surgery I had but I've also noticed that my back and neck hurt more than my usual back pain I get. The new thing that wasn't there before is a pain in the joints of my knees, I'm guessing my body is a little flooded with dead and dying cells so the acidity in my body will be a little higher but my doc put me on an anti-gout tablet so I hope that will work good enough. Still fairly positive, I've even surprised with myself at how positive my attitude has been. I have gad the occasional thought about what might happen if it doesn't work, what if I'm the 20% that dies? But the thought has literally only been a thought that doesn't have much emotion attached to it... I'm not sure if it's because it hasn't hit me or it's not going to or I really am just processing this rationally and very damn well. Like I said due on Wednesday so I'll let you know how I go. Also I wanted to mention I read over my last blog and realized all the spelling mistakes and missed out on an ultrasound on my stomach to make sure I didn't have gall stones or fatty liver and an ultrasound on my breasts during the process of trying to find out what was wrong and they didn't pick up on my body riddled with cancer from my throat down my chest and in my stomach region. That is all I think I forgot to mention. Anyway cheers sorry about the ramble again - Alana ... View more

So I’m still trying to get the hang of this site. I thought I’d start from the beginning. Hodgkin’s lymphoma stage 3. It wasn’t until November 2011 when I started getting really noticeable symptoms. Before that I remember mentioning to my dad that I just felt old. At 19 and 20 I kept thinking to myself why is my back so sore, my am I so tired? Is it because I'm 5kg overweight, is it depression, did I fall on my knees to hard as a child? I just didn’t feel right, like a 20something should be, but nothing was really wrong either. That’s the best way I can describe it. I felt old, I’d look at my old man and think, I pull the same face and struggle to get up off the couch just the same as him, but he’s more than double my age? So November, I weighed 94kg (slightly overweight, but ate healthy and was still active) I had just gotten out of a 5 and a half-year relationship, that wasn’t a good relationship towards the end, lets just say I should have left 3 years before. I was starting life again, I had been controlled and isolated. Moved out of home young and from 17 lived with my now x. So to new beginnings, I was so happy, living life as if for the first time. I lost a little weight... ok without trying I lost 26kg in 3 months! That’s not normal? I was sick all the time too, from October I had a flu/cold that’s would knock me every 2-3 weeks. Id have 5 days of being well, then another cold, another cough. Bronchitis 4 times this year since January 2012. I kept going to the doctors, just started a new job in November too at the Red Cross Blood Service, then just took a lot of time off work (I had never ever taken a sick day in my life or with my previous employer 1 year before. Life was going so well apart from my health. @ admissions to the ED I got so bad. Symptoms were lack of appetite at times, nausea, feeling sick (mainly when I was sick) dizziness, tiredness, fatigue, lack of concentration, rapid unplanned weight loss, sick all the time, coughs colds, flu, differences in bowel motions, digestion difficulties. I was sent away from ED once, no answers, my bloods would flag some things as abnormal but in the end everything checked out. Raised inflammatory markers and high white cells and high platelets. Nothing ever came of it. Then I had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy, they were sure I had Crones, nothing came up, everything was fine, case closed, this specialist that’s specialist, everything’s fine case closed, then Id have to wait to get acute symptoms again to pursue everything further. I met my now beautiful partner in November, all the changes in my life were positive. He is amazingly supportive. He met me right at the very beginning of my journey and has been there every step of the way. He gave me my first flu when we met and from there he recovered but I never really did. Eventually I moved house and decided to change my doctor of 7 years, she had been wonderful but these days things weren’t getting done. I went to a new doctor on a whim, I needed a new prescription for the pill, while I was there I tried my luck and told him everything that’s happened and how I kept getting dead ends but felt like something was still wrong. Based on my symptoms he suggested a Haematologist, as an auto immune disorder had not fully been looked at or ruled out, and it made sense, I was sick all the time, must be my immune system. He said they will test even for the rarest blood disorders and if nothing came up again to come straight back to the drawing board with him and figure it out. The doctor he send me to also just happens to be an oncologist and decided to order a CT of the chest abdo pelvis. All the bloods were clear I was shocked. But there was a shadow in the first slide in my neck, 1cm down and it would have been missed. It seemed as if it was all by chance. The Ct was for chest not neck. I remember clearly how the doctor told me. Looks like its Hodgkin’s, it may not be or it may be another type of cancer but it looks like Hodgkin’s. From there I knew I had cancer. More tests reviled more lumps and more nodes affected. MRI showed some in my chest, PET showed it was stage 3, on both sides of the diaphragm. A fine needle biopsy could confirm Hodgkin’s so I had lung surgery to collapse my lung and remove some nodes for diagnosis. Then I had emergency surgery 10 days later for a lymphatic leak that’s was collapsing my lung. Two major surgeries later and I’m still healing. I started ABVD chemotherapy last week on the 4/7/12, one day after my birthday. I shaved my head on my birthday. I’m pretty positive and everyone tells me I make them comfortable about the news because I’m so positive. I crack a lot of jokes. It helps everyone not just me. I asked dad for a glass of water, he couldn’t be bothered so I told him it was on my bucket list. We looked at each other and pissed ourselves laughing, then he got me my water. My best friend told me she would hold my hair back while I threw up, after I shaved it. It may sound hard to some but to me it’s just a bit of humour, and if you can’t laugh at yourself you cant really be happy. I’m enjoying breaking stigmas for my friends and family, and making comfortable environment where they feel like they can approach me, and not be all hush-hush and secretive because I’m sick. I do worry about some things, like how it affects my partner and family to see me like this. Chemo isn’t going too bad, sure I’ve been a bit tired and I had one day where I ran out of anti-nausea tablets so I had to go back into hospital for IV fluids and more meds, but it wasn’t bad, I had a lot of the symptoms before I started chemo. I would want to eat much because I was sick, I felt nauseated etc.. So really it’s a lot better than what I thought it would be. I thought Id be uncontrollably vomiting and incapacitated most of the time. I'm not doing too badly. I'm due for ABVD therapy every fortnight for 6 months. I'm getting a PICC put in next visit, I love swimming, I find it therapeutic so I'm a little shattered I cant swim with a PICC, and I’ll miss out on Summer but hopefully 6 months goes by like the blink of an eye. I also wanted to say Thank you for those of you who made it to the end of my novel and I hope you gained something from the beginning of my story. Cheers Alana xx ... View more

I am 21 years old and Have just started my first chemo on the 4.7.12 following 2 lung surgeries to remove nodes and one ememrgency surgery because I had a lymphatic leak. Im new to this site and still trying to see how it works. I was wanting to connect with people with the same condition and see there experiences, its also difficult as Im not in contact with any young people and want someone to relate to. In saying that I am open and happy to have anyone of any age and any condition to talk to, its not exclusive, and would just like to hear of others experiences. I have started on ABVD therapy which is going ok so far, I have had a few bouts of nausea when I ran out of anti-nausea tablets and had to get more. Otherwise Im doing ok. It is winter and I keep thinking I cant just sit at home all day but its hard to get out to go for a walk and do some excercise, is this my motivation or the chemo? I have a job to go back to when I finish treatment, ironically im a nurse ( a new one that still has alot of learning to do ) I have a wonderful partner and worry about my future having childeren, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which aready de-creases my chances. Also the relapse rate and higher change of getting secondary cancers when Im older bothers me, and makes me question if I should even be thinking about childeren. I have taste and smell changes from the chemo. I can smell a strange smell uner my fingers no matter how much I wash them, but no one else can smell it. I dont know if it sounds stupid but I was wondering if maybe its the chemo? Like when you eat garlic and your fingers smell. Maybe its just me. I guess I have alot to discuss... If anyones interested? ... View more

I am 21 years old and Have just started my first chemo on the 4.7.12 following 2 lung surgeries to remove nodes and one ememrgency surgery because I had a lymphatic leak. Im new to this site and still trying to see how it works. I was wanting to connect with people with the same condition and see there experiences, its also difficult as Im not in contact with any young people and want someone to relate to. In saying that I am open and happy to have anyone of any age and any condition to talk to, its not exclusive, and would just like to hear of others experiences. I have started on ABVD therapy which is going ok so far, I have had a few bouts of nausea when I ran out of anti-nausea tablets and had to get more. Otherwise Im doing ok. It is winter and I keep thinking I cant just sit at home all day but its hard to get out to go for a walk and do some excercise, is this my motivation or the chemo? I have a job to go back to when I finish treatment, ironically im a nurse ( a new one that still has alot of learning to do ) I have a wonderful partner and worry about my future having childeren, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which aready de-creases my chances. Also the relapse rate and higher change of getting secondary cancers when Im older bothers me, and makes me question if I should even be thinking about childeren. I have taste and smell changes from the chemo. I can smell a strange smell uner my fingers no matter how much I wash them, but no one else can smell it. I dont know if it sounds stupid but I was wondering if maybe its the chemo? Like when you eat garlic and your fingers smell. Maybe its just me. ... View more