Hi emily, i've just put an updated comment on this page under sarahs name it may answer a couple of things.I'm amazed i can find time to come here but i make the effort because i find this is a very helpful site and you all have made me feel not so alone.I may actually put up a post that may not be so depressing sometime :-). I am the only support my hubby has.We shifted down from melbourne to geelong a few years ago a still don't really know anyone,we've pretty much just had each other for the last 25 years. I've caught your hug and returning the favor....Sharon. ... View more

Sarah,thank you for your thoughts what you have written is exactly the way i think he may be thinking.I'm a little embarrased reading what i had written now because i know he isn't that way normally it's the chemo and his illness which both get him understandably down.Every day is different, actually things could change many times daily.I know he loves me and we cuddle almost every day at some point.I think i may have made him out to be a monster which he's not. I know how scared he must be and all the things he must be thinking,i tell him constantly i love him and i tell him i'm not going anywhere,not without him he is my karma and i need him to annoy me for another 40-50 years yet,haha..Every Dr's appointment he has ever had i have sat with him,including in the Drs' office,each pathology test he's had,i'm there..when he has had his biopsy's done,i was there i even sat the 4 hours next to his bed afterwards.I thought i would do something special for him to help distract his mind a bit and bought him a very good laptop a few days ago,i know he loves gaming and this one takes the latest games,it actually put a smile on his face i hadn't seen in sometime.I thought this way he could have something to do whilst in waiting rooms or,touch wood,if he needs hospitalization we could see and talk to each other when i'm not there or he could play a game,watch movies ect. I feel so sorry for him and i know subconciously his fears are greater than he's letting on.I do love him very much and i will never leave,together 25 years,i'm not going anywhere. ... View more

Thanks for your well wisses Ron. The support site i was given to me at the cancer centre is... http://www.leukaemia.org.au/web/index.php The specialist also told us the brain is the only part it doesn't affect.I hope she's right. Good to hear you don't have it,what was your eventual diagnosis? ... View more

Thank you Silly, i hope so too. :) ... View more

Thanks Ron, Daves' kidney's thankfully are the only parts affected though the Odema he has with it is in both feet, legs, chest, stomach, neck, face, hands and arms.Because of this he can only walk a few steps at a time and due to low blood pressure that comes with his fluid retention and now also his meds, he nearly collapses when changing to a standing position..he is very depressed. We've been together for nearly 25 years and he hardly ever got sick and now whamo.Poor bloke. ... View more