April 2018
2 Kudos
My partner died 28Nov2012 from Glioblastoma Multiforme (grade 4 brain cancer). When diagnosed, we agreed not to ask "why?" nor "why us?" nor "this isn't fair." We saw it as a wastge of time and energy when we only had maybe 12months. Hi treatments were not very debilitating as in being sick, nor was there any pain, just tiredness. Most of the time we spent a beautiful year together. He gave me a year of knowing what it is to be retired from working routine and simply enjoying the day. There were of course difficult and sad times. Night time could be very frujstrating and difficult. Five and a maybe half years later, I am here, have survived the worst part of the grieving process. At the time I would look at a friend of mine who was widowed very young and think how can you be so happy (40years later), as in genuinely and spontaneously happy and here I am. I laugh, I make jokes, I enjoy myself, I work, I live and am grateful.
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December 2014
Thanks for your reply Geoff.
It has been quite nice being back on the site. I have been re-reading some of the posts. I can read them now with fond, loving memories. You and Lorraine certainly went through a lot together. You were very blessed.
I think we will always be caring and have a sense of fragility about us. I know I can take my experiences of grief and caring into the workplace as a massage therapist and carer in a dementia specific unit. Kevin is always with me. I often hear him saying "hang on that's not fair what's happening to that person" and I feel compelled to act.
I think Lorraine and Kevin were lucky to have us as we were them.
Take care...Hugs back....D
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December 2014
Check out the website for Oncology Massage Therapists. They (including me) are qualified Massage Therapist who have done further training in Oncology Massage. If you are going to pursue massage, then this is the way to go.
I haven't been on this site for quite a while. I was my hubby's carer
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December 2014
Hi Geoff
Read your post to Nat. It has been 2years for me too (28Nov2014). There is a sense of fading. I feel like life has gone back to pre-Kevin. Still miss him and our relationship every day.
Can't believe where the 2 years has gone and so much happening without him. Life has forwarded and changed and I guess he is not a physical part of it, but his memory and his thoughts and opinions are. Some things are happening now that did not exist in his time and I can only assume what he would have thought. For me that is where the fading is noticeable. The 2nd year can be difficult as reality sets in that nothing can be changed only felt and grieved.
It was nice to see your post and I have re-read some of the others around that time. Beautiful memories of beautiful people caring.
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December 2013
To all of you wonderful people, I am sending you love and hope Christmas is a special time.
I hope you can all enjoy this day of love and hope wherever you are and for whatever part of your journey you are on that you are relishing the "now."
Lots of love....Denise
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December 2013
Go Melanie!!! Merry Christmas!!!
In regard to nutrition, you may want to log onto Quest for Life, Petrea King. There are some good books which deal with the more "natural" mode of healing to complement your lives.
Enjoy the now!!!
Love Denise
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December 2013
HI EMILY
Yes was quite the creative little stitcher. Am starting to feel the urge again slowly. Spent most of yesterday re arranging my "study" to turn it into an arts and craft room. I painted it yellow sometime ago with lime green trim. Very vibrant and uplifitng. Nice and sunny too (when we get sun in Mel). Have moved my sewing machine, mosaics, knitting and crochet needles in and all packed away neatly for when I am ready. I am moving my study/office into Kevin's office but first have to paint it. We both had our own businesses, hence our own study/offices. I feel quite spoiled having so much room and am ready to accept that I am deserving (like so many other carers) of being a bit spoiled and self indulgent.
Will look up that website tho, as I remember how relaxed, albeit sometimes challenged I felt when knitting etc. A great distraction and also an acheivement to see what you have made. I think the ONJ Welness Centre at the Austin have an Art Therapy program which is different from just sitting down and BEING arty and crafty.
Again, it is a feeling of moving on without Kevin and things he is not here to enjoy with me, tho I know he is with me in a different way.
Lots of love and all the best for the Christmas Season and a calm, Peaceful New Year ....Denise
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December 2013
Congratulations Superman!!!!!
Keep up the great work...Fatigue is a normal part of chemo so pace yourself.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! and enjoy and relish youself and loved ones.
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December 2013
HI Storm,
Hope you are doing ok. The first anniversary has come and gone. The actual day wasn't too bad I had lunch with Kevin's sister and got through the day ok. I posted a tribute on my FB page and in the Herald Sun which I quite enjoyed doing. I found some lovely versus from a book called "Safe Passage" and sent his mum some beautiful flowers.
The day after I didn't do so well, with lots of tears and yearning today, just like back then one year ago.
Was a difficult day today yet have got through it. Here I go again.Just another hurdle.
Like you, I am not missing the "irritations" I only see our relationship as beautiful and whatever irritations would have been dealt with. I have had a number of dreams too. We might be in for it someday. Lots of love....Denise
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December 2013
Thank you so much Amanda for remembering. It helps knowing that other people out there are thinking of me. I hope things are improving a bit for you. The anniversary date 28Nov wasn't too bad. It slowly caught up a couple of days later, with lots of tears today. It was like when he first died. Grief and yearning. The road is certainly full of bumps and potholes. All we can do is put on our seatbelts and remain positive that we will one day find our new purpose in life, fuelled by a passion from our love.
Again thank you
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