Depression!!!!!! It is so frustrating, I never know what to say, how to say it, or how to snap him out of the funk that he is in. And mostly because I completely understand why he feels depressed. Why wouldn't you! In March we will reach our 2 yr milestone since diagnosis. Last night he said he was done. Cancer is such a nasty disease. Even when you think your done- it has the last word.... dragging its feet..... it will decide when its done.... not you! ... View more

It's been almost 2 months since my last post- what a rollercoaster. My dear husband decided that chemo & avastin were no longer his path, and with deep discussion between the two of us, I support his decision 100%. I stand by him proudly, as it must take alot of courage to take this step. Instead of using western medicine, we are doing the healthy lifestyle. Juicing etc. Whilst this too comes with it's ups & downs, he is now walking with a walking stick as his entire left side of his body is numb, therefore rendering his leg & arm floppy. I suspect that purchasing a wheelchair is something I will need to do in the very near future, as he struggles to walk more than a couple of metres. He falls, alot. Almost every second day, I run to a "thud". He ventures no more than bed to bathroom. I am scared that he'll really hurt himself one day soon. He mentions he is finding it harder to stay on track, finding it harder to focus. And just in the last day, his voice is changing- I really hope he doesn't lose the ability to talk. As a carer, I am back into the swing of things, the girls are enjoying the christmas lead up. I am excited that we have reached another milestone for him, this is his second christmas since diagnosis. I hope there is plenty more to come. I struggle, as one can imagine, but I compose myself, put it to the back of my mind & enjoy life for the second that we are in it now. As christmas comes closer, please, pull your loved ones in for cuddles. Remember, every day counts. ... View more