Hi Chrystal-Jean,
I too am new to this forum and I understand your needs. I have had Bowel cancer with mets in my liver. I know xeloda very well. I tollerated it well for the most part but it knocked my feet around alot. I also have kids and the struggle you go through to make things seem "normal". Please don't deny yourself your emotions, crying is sometimes what we need.
When I was 5 days out of my last does of my intraveinous chemo, I woke at 3am and sat in our quiet house by myself feeling very scared and alone(I called this the Dread). I burst into tears when my hubby saw me sitting there. He gave me 2 choices- councillor or girl friends. I choose girlfriends and I have to tell you they gave me lots of hugs and a big dose of tough love. " You don't want this babe, we are here for you so lets look at the positive, its just one more and then its over." It was what I needed, that and the three desserts we shared for lunch because nothing makes you feel better like girlfriends and chocolate cake.
Emo day's will happen, let it out on a loving shoulder and things will be much better.
Stay strong and kick Cancers butt!
Lush
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