January 2020
1 Kudo
It is very difficult to cope with loss. I think it did get worse for me before it got better, Three month mark? I'm not sure but everyone's experience is different. Counselling is really important and useful. I found it so in any case. I doubt I would have made it through without professional and family support. it is all important. Most importantly, take care.
... View more
January 2020
1 Kudo
I really hope for some advice on this. My wife passed away the November before last from cancer. She had been sick for just on eight years. We had dogs together rather than children because of her diagnosis. Since Belinda passed I have been taking our dogs over to her mother's house to be with her and my wife's sisters when they are in town. I felt that this was the least I could do in the circumstances as this was the second child that this Belinda's mother had lost to terminal illness. The trouble is that I am sick of doing this. I really think that it is time to move on but I feel that my wife's family expect this to continue forever. They were not even around that much when my wife was sick. I hardly know them really and I feel that they didn't really know Belinda during her last years on this planet. Also, the dogs are not walked or groomed when I pick them up. I don't know what to do really. I really feel like saying enough is enough but I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. As I said, I feel that this is not allowing me or the dogs to move on and I also feel as I've done my bit. How long do I have to keep up this pretence for?
... View more
February 2019
9 Kudos
Hi. My name is Peter. My wife Belinda passed away just over three months ago. I have been very up and down over that time, and my friends and family have been of great support. I have also seen professionals for support. In the end, though, I feel very alone on this journey. I met Belinda about 10 years ago. We got married almost 5 years to the day that she passed away. I knew she had lung cancer when we got together but she was an irresistible nice person in every possible way. I was extremely fortunate to have had her and her cancer in my life. But now she has gone. Oh yes, in many ways she is still here in our little home that we made together. So many happy memories and so many heart strings to pull. It has been a very emotional past few months. I thought I’d be ok with her passing as I always knew that this would be the end game; that statistically at least, she was bound to die before me even though I was considerably older. I have been tidying up the house and that has been very hard. Somethings I cannot touch without thinking of her, while other things I have been able to get rid of very easily. Sometimes I feel guilty about cleaning her stuff out. I have found Marie Kondo’s videos on tidying up very useful in this regard. She advises keeping momentous to last. That has been helpful for me. Today I need a rest. It has been a fairly hot summer. Belinda’s memory brings me great joy and sadness all woven into one. She would be proud of me tidying up the house. It got out of control a bit over the past few years as we went through brain tumours, recovery, a short hiatus with Tagrisso and then her decline into death Her young age (45) made it all the sadder. The lung cancer did its best to rob her of the best years of her life. But she refused to let it She was such and inspiration to me and many others. They have all gone now. It is just me and our wonderful dogs left to ponder our loss. Today I don’t feel so well. It is hot outside and I don’t feel like going out. I feel like such a sad sack when I’m like this. I will try to contact a friend and go for a coffee. That will help. Maybe the tidying can resume tonight when the temperature cools down a bit.
... View more
June 2018
Hi Josie my wife has stage IV egfr lung cancer also. There are many treatment options available and she has just started a new trial drug last week. She was diagnosed nearly 8 years ago so has already been through many treatment options this is why her options are limited. Your husband has many options and I hope he is doing well. where there’s life there’s hope. Peter
... View more
June 2018
1 Kudo
I was just wondering if anyone has a similar experience to me. My wife has stage IV NSCLC and is coming up to her eighth year since diagnosis which is incredible. However, I feel like we have become more and more isolated over this time. My wife has connected up with other people in a similar situation to herself. I was wondering if there are any carers in a similar situation to myself who’d like to get together for a chat and some support. More about company and sharing experiences than anything else.
... View more
June 2018
Hi Budgie, Thanks for your reply and I agree that we need to take time apart from each other. My mother's death certainly has added another dimension. I have just had a trip up to see my son in Canberra. My wife's canmcer has recently began growing again so there is a fair bit going on. That being said, it is important to talk about this to otehr people. Problem is family and friends have been rather unresponsive hence my coming on here out of desparation really. So, thanks again for your reply. I am seeing a psychologist who has been great in the past. I also had a good talk with my wife this morning. Every little bit helps Cheers pdjones
... View more
June 2018
Hi, I am a career for my wife when she needs it which is often. She has stage IV NSCLC and has just stopped taking Tagrisso because of adverse effects. She has just enrolled in a Jackpot trial but there is no evidence that this will be of any use to her. You can live in hope but this is stressing me out. I have just lost my mother recently and so feel overloaded with grief.
... View more
