I have only recently lost my husband - 15 days ago - it still doesn't feel real! My husband was first diagnosed with cancer at the back of the tongue, in July last year. I took time off work to care for him. I'm so glad I did, although I often felt useless - I couldn't change anything, or make it go away. If only I could. It was so hard to watch him wasting away before my very eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. It didn't matter how many nourishing meals I prepared for him, he couldn't eat them. He had surgery to remove lymph nodes to the right side of his neck (more cancer) and due to severe facial swelling, had to have a tracheotomy. He slowly lost his ability to swallow and to talk and to breathe. It was devastating. He was so very brave. He passed away at a palliative unit, quietly in his sleep. Just as he wanted. We were married 33 years and were together for 39 years. I don't know what to do without him. Where do you begin? ... View more

Bridie, you will look back on the last year and have so many horrible memories of the sickness and its toll on your step-dad and family, but in time, you will have the most meaningful memories you will cling to forever. i was holding my dad's hand when he died 3 years ago when i was 23 and he was only 54. it would have been his birthday yeasterday. i still think of him every day and wish i could have done something more for him. i miss him so so so much that i still ache, but i also have so many good memories to cling to. i try to think of the important things that he told me and how much he loved me. you will go through your own journey but i hope you are able to come to a place where the good memories are at the forefront and not the bad ones. ... View more