I totally get it. I have a similar situation. My husband is 44yo. We don't have kids together but he has two adult children, both who struggle with the guilt of not being able to help us more. He sleeps a lot also. Rarely go anywhere as he simply feels too unwell or we go out and need to come home quickly due to pain, vomiting etc. I feel a little numb, traumatised emotionally. We moved out of the city almost 2 years ago to get a better life. We love our home but it is a lonely place for me. He doesn't like people coming over and I, like you, try to fill in my time around the house. I have my own health issues so also need a lot of rest. Working full time means I stress & worry all day but his medical expenses & medication costs take up a large amount of my income. I don't know what to do anymore. We don't have much support. My mum is wonderful but his family r selfish & cold. A source of great anger for me! Thinking of you as u continue on the journey you r both on. Thank u for posting as I read a very familiar story. Love & prayers 🙏🏻🦋 ... View more

Hi Alta My husband has just recently come out of hospital after 4 months when our world was turned upside down with a diagnosis of cancer. We had to go to Melb to Peter Mac (fantastic and dedicated people) but this meant we were not home with friends and neighbours for 4 months. I am answering your query because although family was a fantastic support I tried not to bother them to much with the daily shocks and yes they seem to come daily thick and fast. It was my friends at the end of the telephone I was able to vent with. I think it was the distance that helped I could unload while they listened and listened. I knew they wouldn't jump in a car and drive down unless I asked which I didn't as it was listening ears I needed and visitors I didn't need. After venting and a good cry I could face the next day of unexpected dramas with more equilibrium. So don't downplay the importance of the listening voice at the end of the telephone it is often just what is needed. xxx Denise ... View more

Thank you Free for your interest and input to my query. Bed rails were tried by the hospital and they posed a challenge not a deterrent, then he has further to fall from the top of the rails. The hospital then brought in a special bed which lowered to the ground and he was unable to stand and walk from that position. They could then raise it when he was supervised to do dressings and when he needed to go in a walker to the toilet or shower. I have thought about just sleeping on a mattress on the floor but then I cannot get him up easily into a wheelchair or walker from that position. I am pleased to hear that things are resolved for your mum I guess I will take heart in that as it is early days yet. ... View more