Hi Ben I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing my father is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I truly feel your pain. I would like to say that it gets better but I feel the same as what I did when it happened. My dad passed away 26th May last year and it feels like it was yesterday. I have been to a therapist which has helped a little but I miss him everyday. Some days I forget - my son started his apprenticeship this year and when I dropped him off at TAFE I was driving home and thought 'I will give dad a ring and let him know how he went', then it hits you like a tonne of bricks. My therapist is quite spiritual so I mentioned to her about not seeing any signs and she said that it is possibly because my head is not clear, there could be signs all the time but I am not seeing them because so much is going on in my head. I hope this is true. She did tell me to keep a journal, not to write anything in particular - but just to write, she suggested that I write everyday - I have been a bit slack with this but really need to do it. All I can say is be kind to yourself. Its ok to be mad, sad, devasted. I don't feel like I will ever be the same person I was before dad got sick. I think we have seen to much pain for it to not change us as people. All you have to do is get through today, worry about tomorrow - tomorrow. Below is a quote that we put on the memorial booklet at dads funeral, thought I would share it with you. Please feel free to message me whenever you need a chat or to vent.     ... View more