Hi Traci-Rene'e,   I know exactly what you are going through.  Cancer destroys everything in its path.  Like you and your husband we had so many plans.  I feel helpless.  I am very happy that your husband realizes how lucky he is to have a wife who loves and supports him like you.  I am very sad to hear about your Mom.  She is your angel and she will guide and protect you.  As of now, nothing has changed and it is unbearable.  I just want to love and support my wife through this horrible illness.  She is very angry at me.  99% of the time I am very patient but sometimes I ask her if she will ever stop being angry at me.  I've apologized for things that I don't even know that I have done.  It just seems that there is nothing that I can say to make things better.  Prior to her diagnosis like any other married couple we would have a disagreement and in a day or so it would be okay.  Once this happened, I am public enemy number 1.  It really hurts.  I just want my wife to stop ignoring and rejecting me.  I am not looking for anything in return...just kindness.   You and your family are in my prayers.   Your Friend,   Ralph ... View more

Hi, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.  I'm not in exactly the same situation, my husband has been in remission from stage 4 non-Hodgkin lymphoma for 7 years, but I understand what it's like to have a partner with cancer.  I don't really have any advice for what to say, but I can tell you that a number of times over the years my husband has thanked me sincerely for staying with him during all this.  He said that I had the option of leaving him and escaping this horrible situation, but I didn't.  He's been very thankful and felt very supported by this.    You've been doing the same too. I think regardless of what you or say, the fact that you are still with your partner will be so valuable to him.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you've got this.  Sending huge encouraging hugs, Emily ... View more

I found it really hard to cope when my husband was going through chemotherapy too (7 years ago).  One of the things I learned is that being strong doesn't mean you don't cry and grieve, it just means you keep going despite your grief and tears. If you try to suppress it, it will just come back to hit you later (probably at a really bad time). I think partners of people with cancer are in a really bad position, because the person they normally lean on for support is the one with the cancer.  That means we have to be really intentional about seeking out support, because it's not necessarily already there.  I'm really glad you found this forum!  Do feel free to vent here, that's what it's for.  It might help too if you find someone you can vent to in person (because much as we would like to, people on this forum can't hug each other )  Is there someone you can talk to who is outside your immediate family?  They can be the one to look after your welfare, so you can look after everyone else.  If not, the Cancer Council may be able to link you into a support service.  Think of it this way: you'd get your car serviced before driving from Sydney to Perth-that doesn't mean the car is weak, but that it's about to go through a lot.  Your wellbeing is no different.    The Cancer Council or your husband's health care people may also be able to point you towards some practical resources that will help too, for all the day-to-day stuff.    I hope this helps.  Keep in touch!  love and cyber hugs, Emily   ... View more