Hi Wegotthis,                                                                                                                                        I hope you do not have cancer but you have a very good attitude.  It can be hard at times to be positive but it is better to keep this to ourselves because by being strong we make our family strong.  Just because we have cancer doesn't mean we can't laugh and be happy.   It is very true what you said, even healthy people aren't promised a tomorrow,  so be happy for today. Hope it all turns out good for you and your family. CiennaR     ... View more

Alishan, Thank you for responding.  I will look up this site.  Yes, going through treatments, doctor visits, etc.  it is hard to keep track of everything.   Glad you are doing good and living life! CiennaR     ... View more

Captain Australia,   Very well written and very good advice.  No one knows how long they might have, life can be gone in a minute or go on for a long time. It helps sometimes (for me) to get out of my own head.   Toss the cancer to the curb for even a little while.   Yeah, cancer sucks big time.   Thanks for reaching out.   CiennaR ... View more

Hi Brogsie, Hope you are doing o.k. and maybe have heard about the trial you want to participate.   I have never participated in a trial but here in the USA they are running advertisements about Nivolumab and Ipilimumab as a new dual therapy which surprises me in that my oncologist said she started giving it to her patients in 2014 so it has been around for a while put my doctor was always telling me "We don't know alot about the side effects".  I hope that if you qualify for the trial, the side effects are not too bad. Believe it or not, I have not had Chemo.  The SBRT radiation was really problem free but immunology was a different story but it prolonged my life.   I am noticing my doctors at cancer center are saying,  giving me more time, prolonging my life.  No more talk of cancer free which truthfully can depress me at time. I definitely would paint my toenails and nails black!  Here, the young girls call it "goth". Just no black lipstick. (ha!ha!).  Sometimes, I have my daughter paint my nails and toenails just to feel better.  Pale yellow is my favorite color. I am 69 and live in northern California about an hour away from our state  capitol, Sacramento where my hospital, cancer center, eye clinic and other clinics are all together. I do have been trying to get my ducks in a row too.  I get so overwhelmed at times with all that goes with cancer.  Just yesterday, we spend 2 hours traveling to hospital so I could get my Covid test as this is a requirement before surgery and apparently my treatment is considered surgery now.   I have it tomorrow and things have changed somewhat as now I am going to be put completly out and I might have to stay overnight in hospital.  This procedure is  something fairly new they are doing at my hospital now so I am slightly scared.  They didn't schedule me till afternoon and said plan to be there 8 hours!  My son is taking me and my husband, makes me happy husband won't be alone but because of Covid only 1 person can come in hospital with you.   I can see how happy your 2 little grandsons make you.   Sometimes it is hard for me with all the cancer details, etc. but I just have to try and really remember what is important. Thanks for listening and glad we are friends. Linda       ... View more

Dear EverForward,   Yes, it is definently crappier the 3rd time around.   I saw your post and felt like I had to answer.  I am a woman so...am not going through testicular cancer but was just diagnosed with lung cancer for the 3rd time and it is crappy in so many ways.  It is harder this time because I guess we were thinking just maybe cancer was behind us plus now we are dealing with Covid too. My husband too was shell shocked this time and truthfully it  has been at times exhausting trying to give him emotional support while going through another cancer diagnosis.  And yes, at times I feel lonely too.   I think in my case, my husband feels like now it is a real possibility he might lose me to cancer.  Which is why at times the lack of emotional support,  anger, questioning if I really love him?  As overwhelming as it is for us, it is overwhelming for our partners too.   This doesn't ease the frustration  or loneliness I feel at times but I have found patience and talking and talking can help some.  I haven't found a support group for caretakers (as I guess partners  of cancer patients are called) but it seems like that would be of some help too if our partners were willing to go. Best wishes to you, CiennaR     ... View more

Hi Brogsie, I think it is nice we are keeping in contact as I know for me (as I hope for you) it helps to have someone else besides family to talk to and who knows what it is like to go through having cancer.  I am married and like you have 3 grown children.  My husband has taken my cancer really hard but he has dealt with it first hand for almost 4 years.  You are right on when you said, "It is important our children remain our children and not our carers".   My kids are amazing too and we both are very lucky to just know they will be there if we really need them.  I always tell them the truth about what doctors said, tests results, etc.  but I do try to put on a "brave" front for them.   I, too, like to be independent, in that I try to do housework, gardening, etc.  But it is hard because of the vision loss in my one eye.   I can't believe I have not driven in over a year. I really hope your biopsy results  qualify you to participate in the Chemo trial.  I am glad you like and trust your doctor.  That is so important.  I am gathering you live in Australia? or England?   I live in United States.  I go to a University Hospital/teaching hospital.  It is about 1 hour from my house but it is worth it because I like all my doctors alot there.  My cancer center gives me a  main oncologist and then a team of doctors who get together to discuss treatments, tests, etc.   My eye clinic is also there.   It sounds like you use your time more wisely then I do.  I do appreciate, reflect on each day but find so much of my time is spent on medical "stuff".  Right now I am waiting to get scheduled for my treatment procedure, which might also mean a(another) Covid test, blood tests and even another PET scan.  But I am  excited(might be wrong word) to have the procedure.  Again, you are so right, we accept terrible things to have another opportunity to fight and live some more. My best to you and hoping and praying you get accepted into the chemo trial. CiennaR ... View more

Brogsie, I am not sure I  am even posting in the right place.  I wrote you a day or two ago to say don't give up.  I am a good example.  I found out today it was decided the best treatment for me is called Cryoaboation Radiation. It isn't done too often, and the radiation doctor who did my recent biopsy is going to do it.  Hardly any side effects except I could get a collasped lung but have had one before so will chance it.  I just want you to know something could/will come up to help me and give you hope.  I was told today my treatment isn't a cure but will give me time.  There was a time when I wanted a cure but I can live with time. I will be hoping for a treatment for you, more time for you and any time you need to talk I will listen. Wishing you the best, CiennaR       ... View more

Hi Darlene, I am sure you are glad your operation for lung removal  is over but sorry it was/is so painful.  Hopefully the pain  will ease up quickly.   I too have lung cancer but wasn't able to have the lung removal operation but can only imagine how painful it is.  Hopefully you can get rest and regroup this next month.   Wishing you well with the road ahead.  I, too, am starting a new road as I have had a recurrence of my lung cancer so am not looking forward to whatever is ahead also. CiennaR ... View more

Hi Lolie,      When I was diagnosed with lung cancer the first time I had 5 SBRT treatments every other day.   It went really well with no problems except tiredness.  I'm sure you'll do fine and I'm assuming you will have 3 months until your first CT scan after treatment.  It is so nice to be free of medical stuff!         Do you have cancer in both lungs or just one lung?  I have had it in both lungs but each time it has been small and supposedly slow growing.   I go this coming week for a consultation about what kind of treatment I need.  My main oncologist wanted me to have SBRT again  but the radiation oncologist doesn't like to do it twice on the same lungs.        Yes, it does get exhausting.  The minute I was told my cancer had come back my first thought was here comes the tests and more tests.........       Anyway, glad you are going to get a break after SBRT is over.    ... View more

Hi Brogsie, Yes, having cancer is like being on a roller coaster (and I am not a big fan of roller coasters)!   I don't have any definite answer as how to cope with all the highs and lows that make up a cancer patients life.  I trust my doctor to do the right treatment but my cancer center offers very little in emotional/mental support.   So, at times I feel like I am alone which of course is not true.  Cancer sure changes one's life and I just try to get through one day at a time, that's all we can do.   I seek little pieces of peace because I need to do that to get through the bad days.    I am sure I am terminally ill too and even when I was tumor free, I was still chronically ill will side effects so....   I wish you good scan results on Thursday, I will be praying.  I also go for a consultation on Thursday to see what treatment  options  my doctor has come up with.       ... View more