Hi, My mum passed away 2 weeks today and i feel nearly exactly like you do. She had a long battle with cancer until 5 weeks ago when were told that there was no more treatment and just make here "comfortable". My mum was my person, my best friend, my anchor. People keep checking on me and asking if i'm ok and i mostly am, it feels weird to not be balled up in the corner sobbing for such a loss, but i have 2 kids and run a business and you kind of just have to keep going. I agree that your brain sort of blocks it away for you somehow, until you're ready or something. I have had a few sad moments here and there, but I feel like I'm still in shock - or like I can just drop into her house tomorrow and she'll be there... Death is such a strange thing to process. Just take your time and be gentle with yourself. one day at a time. one moment at a time. I have been writing letters to my mum when i want to tell her something and putting them in a box - i may burn these all at a later date but maybe that's something you could do that might help get some feelings out? best of luck moving forward X ... View more

I’m so sorry to read your story. I lost my Dad on 21st October He was diagnosed with cancer 8 weeks prior.  I understand what it feels like to battle with the thought of him suffering in the end. My Dad suffered so badly in the last 2 days, we were caring for him at home and it was very confronting.  My Dad didn’t want to die and would beg God to save him. That is what torments me now. The thought of a big strong man begging for his life, he didn’t want to leave us.  I replay the conversation he had with the doctor in head, he was given 2-6 weeks to live and he asked please will I be here for Christmas.   I understand the roller coaster it must of been for you, having thought he was in the clear only to have your heartbroken. We thought my Dad was getting better (we were so blind to it all)    How cruel and horrifying for your family.    I am mad most days, mad at God, the doctors, everyone    I’m not sure if I’ve helped you at all but know that, but I wanted you to know I understand your pain  xx    ... View more