Sorry, "exit plan" was wrong use of words.  What my gist is that it is important for anyone to make their own choices that includes quality of life and dignity.  When my time comes I will know and my choices will not include being cared for if I feel there is no possibility of quality of life.   I am thinking of a road trip by myself for some months and then just quietly disappearing - all very whimsical. All the best     ... View more

Hi Darlene2020 I truly feel for you. I was in a similar situation a few months ago where my doctor  urged me to have an immediate double mastectomy. I had put off getting my right breast tumour seen to for over a year (and, as my doctor indelicately described it, it was "huge") but ultrasound and a mammogram detected one in my left breast which I hadn't known about.  So I was scheduled for surgery in 5 days time and during that time a PET scan detected a met in my spine.  This was a game changer.  I requested hormone therapy for the met and I will be having a lesser lumpectomy surgery around November.  I can totally understand how betrayed you must be feeling. I also have a support person who is (was) either gushing all over me with acclaimed empathy,  bemoaning his own life conditions where he is either sick, problems with work or upset because his wife has cancer but when I truly need some compassion he tells me how well I look and that I don't need to keep "going on about it".  Until very recently he has been abusive toward me (physically as well as verbally) and he is incapable of true compassion.  I would not want him as my carer and will end my own life before that happens. It is important for you to get back a sense of who you are to yourself and establish some cause over your circumstances.  Go on a trip around Australia?  If all else is out of the question devise an exit plan.  I have a prognosis probably of 2 to 3 years and have formulated life choices even at this stage. All my compassion and good will go out you. ... View more

Thanks for that message CaptainAustrali.  Learned yesterday that my cancer life expectancy average is around two to three years and with a met in my spine things can't expect to end well.  Yes it's the fear and incursion into life plans and hopes that sent me into a slump  However, I'm not giving up.   My main upset at present is the Australian COVID mess. My daughters live in Sydney under lockdown ap and I desperately want to see them, especially my 20 year old who is living alone.  I can't go over there from Tasmania and they're not allowed to travel, and not allowed into Tasmania. Congratulations on beating your prognosis and may any remaining vestiges (if any!!!) die a painful death💥😁!  Cheers, Hannah30   ... View more

Hi Thanks for your story I also live on a rural property but unlike you I have been wallowing in my diagnosis and unwilling to work in garden - lost interest.  Your story is inspiring especially as my cancer is mostly non symptomatic at present and end stage is down the road a few years (albeit painful if I decide the bone metastases are enough.  Will probably allow mets to migrate to somewhere that will kill me more quickly or take an overdose of sleeping pills.) However I am also grappling with reality.  Swinging vastly between optimism and delving into alternative treatments as well as cancer hormone therapy and then digging up information that the cancer treatment has a shelf life and my estimated time of life is about two to three years. I also need a sounding board.  I am living with a support person whom I feel I have to protect from the worst of this reality shift, and my two daughters who I desperately want to see live in Sydney and are under lockdown orders at present ... View more

I was eased into my diagnosis of Stage 4.  Knew about my breast tumours and a shadow in spine from CAT scan.  Doctor rang me in evening after PET scan confirmed met though there was some disagreement between specialists.  Left me with near certain conclusion of painful end of life somewhere down the road and alone in a hotel room. Got drunk on a bottle of red wine. ... View more