My wife has cancer and I can identify with what you are saying. I spoke to one of my best friends almost 12 months ago about what we were going through and I haven't heard from him since. I have given him the opportunity to communicate via email recently but haven't heard boo. A number of relatives never ask how either of us (or the kids) are feeling or whether we need a hand, yet complain that they are upset they have been left in the dark (whatever that is meant to imply)?? We have had a couple of stressful things to go through over the years and we have found that when you need support, you receive support from people we have least expected it from. eg a real estate agent you hardly know, a work colleage you actually thought was a hard soul previously etc I think friends and family have no idea how to react , it is like after the initial shock they expect some immediate outcome so they can place it into a compartment in their mind. In other words if you have cancer you either die or you survive and everything is better again. The fact that you may have something that goes in and out of severity over a prolonged period of time must be hard to comprehend. Perhaps more items need to get into the media so the average unaffected person can understand what people are going through, and ways to provide emotional and other support. I know before we faced this I had little knowledge or idea of what to expect. I realise there is already much information like on this website, but it is only accessed by those that take the time and effort to seek it. Interesting your comments about material things. I have sold a number of items that I had accumulated and never thought I would part with. When a loved one is ill, a collection of material items means nothing Take care, Justin ... View more

I am sorry to read about what you and your husband have been going through. You will probably have a number of peaks and troughs but you sound like you are a great support to him. Keep writing your thoughts on here to help you keep sane. All the best, Justin ... View more

I know what you are going through to a degree. My kids are in their teens and they have been recently indicating things like "we used to all be happy now all we seem to do is bicker" and "why do we only have to focus on cancer or words to that affect", or my son simply goes into his room to escape some of the tension or anxiety. I am taking my son away for a few days on our own next week. This should be good for both of us. I have booked a couple of nights and will "wing" the others so if we decide to stay somewhere different we can make our mind up at the time (much to his annoyance as he wants everything planned and mapped out). I understand how hard it is to try continue in a 'normal" fashion. I find myself struggling regularly. I am hoping by spending some quality time I may also have the opportunity to discuss how he is feeling. We have a bit of a reprieve at the moment but we are under a number of other pressures as a result of what is going on (financially, emotionally, physically) as I am sure most people are. I think small things can bring relief. I read feedback suggesting watching a movie together , having a laugh together etc. It doesn't need to be anything out of the ordinary as long as you can have a bit of a laugh or spend some quality time together. I know sometimes even simple things can seem like effort, but little things can be the most enjoyable. I am concious of this and I am trying to do more with my family so we have some nice memories rather than focusing on all of the other issues. Anyway, the main thing is that there are people that will support you and listen to you, like on here. All the best, Justin ... View more

thank you again for your support. I realise this is public but at the same time I feel a little better than I have by posting this. I know everyone deals with their own issues in their own way, and this forum helps me. I wish those suffering with their own illness and family trying to deal with this all the best. ... View more

Thank you for your feedback and support. I realise my wife is the one suffering more, emotionally and physically, but I haven't felt I could really discuss my own feelings to friends and relatives (so I broadcast it here to the world lol). I appreciate your comments. My wife is a member of the myeloma foundation and they have been very supportive to her. I am the same, I had never heard of myeloma before this came up. I think I had been ignorant to most forms of cancer, perhaps hoping they would never enter our lives. I am pleased to hear you are in remission Harker. ... View more