Hi Julie, You are so right! other people don't see it so clearly. I have always been a person who thinks of others, if I hear that it is someones birthday or anniversary, I make a note of it and then wish them all the best on the day. I don't stand by and watch someone struggling, I lend a hand. I care about people and it pisses me off that now that i need a bit of caring, there are very few who make me FEEL they care, even though I KNOW that they care. There is a huge difference between knowing something and FEELING it. I have told people if they don't feel comfortable talking with me then they could send me a text letting me know they are thinking of me. Result - negligible. I have said to people who are concerned about upsetting me by saying the wrong thing, that there is nothing that they can say that will be worse than what this cancer diagnosis has made me feel and that they should just say, Hi how ya doing today? That gives me the option of continuing the conversation or saying, not up to talking about it today. At least that way they are acknowledging it. Saying nothing makes me feel like they don't care. It's only a feeling, feelings are not right or wrong, they are just feelings. Still, I am so GLAD to have found this website, it has really helped me and I am so grateful to people like you who have shared with me. Jill. ... View more

Hi Graham, I am blown away by your post. So many questions, so few answers. I hope you have been getting some enjoyment from the spring racing carnival (I note on your profile that you enjoy horse racing). Hope you back a winner on Tuesday! Now for the important stuff........ Any hot tips??!! Peace and strength to you, Mrs Elton ... View more

Hi Miss Lane, I saw that you were online, so thought it would be a good time to reply. I know that it takes courage to put up your first 'post', so well done and keep them coming! Take care, I'm sure you will find this site very useful. Mrs Elton ... View more

Thanks Jo, I totally agree with the 'stay strong' bit. Easy to say and something you want to do, but extremely hard to carry out most of the time, let alone all of the time! I know when people say whatever it is that makes them feel better, like they've done their duty by asking how things are going, that MOST of the time they genuinely care. There are plenty of others who just don't know what to say, so they say as little as possible, (if anything). I know people care, I need to FEEL that people care. So many times I have said to people, there is very little that you can say to me that is going to upset me more than what I already am. My world has been turned upside down and if I need to cry then I should. Anything people say to me that may make me cry is not a problem to me, it's a release for me, but it seems to be a problem to them. So instead they choose to say nothing and sometimes even avoid having to talk with me one to one. I am a person who needs to talk, needs to 'let out' stuff so that I don't bottle it all up and end up with so much pressure that there is an almighty explosion! I have suggested to various people, if they don't feel comfortable talking with me then they could send a text or email, just to let me know they are thinking of me. Even that doesn't get through!!! I am so glad that I have found this site, as I CAN FEEL that people care. Thanks so much, will have to add the next installment to my blog, when I find a spare hour!!! Best wishes to you and Rob, Jill. ... View more

Hi Miss Lane, Welcome. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. I am relatively knew to this site too. I am not in your situtation, my husband has cancer and I am using this site to help me connect with others who have had cancer touch their lives. My sister-in-law is at greater risk than 'normal' for developing breast cancer, she has the BRCA2 gene and is booked to have a double mastecomy/reconstruction (using her stomach to form her new breasts) in December this year. I am making her aware of this site as I thought she might find it useful, if she decides it is, I will let her know you may be someone she can connect with. Take care, Mrs Elton ... View more

Hi Jodielee, Half way there and still feeling good, that's great! It is sad that you can't be with your son for his birthday, but I would imagine that he fully understands you are in the place you need to be right now to get the treatment that is important. Your grandsons will have plenty of cuddles for you when you get home. It really is wonderful to see the relationships between Nanna's/grandma's and their grandchildren. Pure joy! Take care, Mrs Elton ... View more

Hi Willow, Hope you find strength and courage to get through this new shock and that you can find some comfort in knowing that others are thinking of you. The beauty of this site is that you can share the frustrations/fears/hopes etc with all of us, please don't do it alone. Take care, Mrs Elton ... View more

Hi Julie, Even when I am withdrawing, I know it is at that point in time that I need people the most. My emotional strength battery has got too low and needs recharging and a 'jump start' from someone else's battery would help give me the power I need to get home and recharge fully. Yet, all too often, no jump start is offerred. The silence is deafening. Rarely do I come home from dropping my boys at school and find a message on my answering machine, "just called to say Hello and see how you're doing". Is that why we withdraw, to protect ourselves from the possibility of others letting us down again? ... View more

Hi Alana, Sounds like you are having a really crappy time. I'm glad that you girls are getting closer but it is so sad to see the kids suffer. This whole process is so energy-sapping and soul destroying. You will get through this, you ARE strong and it's OK to feel angry. Be angry towards this insidious disease and keep sharing with us so that you can take some pressure off yourself. Take special care of you, find something that makes you feel good (that doesn't involve spending money), a walk on the beach, listening to your favourite music, a bubble bath (if you haven't got a bath, find a friend who does!). Just find something that will give you the time to recharge your batteries, restore your energy and your focus. It's inside you, we know it. Remember how fantastic your fundraising was and maybe start to think of your next project (if that will make you feel better). My heart is going out to you and I am sending you strength and hope. Take care, Mrs Elton ... View more