Big Day at Peter Mac

[Paulpwtierney]

Finally met the oncologist and got the news. It is a P something cancer in the tonsils. Treatment will be 7 weeks radiology ( 5 per week ) and chemo on day one of week one , four and seven. A tube will be inserted into my stomach as I will not accept a temporary one in the nose. It will be seven weeks of hell but I need to be positive , certainly more positive than I am now. I was told in no uncertain terms that if I am this positive now and treatment has not even started then how will I cope with treatment. I need to pull my socks up and message has been received loud and clear. I need to focus on staying strong and getting well. Treatment will start in 4 weeks. In the meantime I am meeting the dentist/dietician and psychologist. Now I must eat more and start exercising and stay positive. Focus, focus, focus. The headache was diagnosed as a tension headache .

[GHT]

Dear Paul It sounds like reality hit hard today, I am sensing you are afraid but also brave and I am full of admiration for you. I can totally understand you wouldn't want a tube up your nose. I dread to think where they might want to stick a tube in me. Sounds like you came up with a solution you felt more comfortable with. Will they take out your tonsils? Stock up on yummy ice cream to ease the pain. What is your favourite brand and flavour? Sending you best wishes GHT

[Paulpwtierney]

Yes , yesterday was a reality call. Sitting in the waiting room at Peter Mac seeing the full range of patients. I wanted to " bolt " as I thought this can't be me , there must be some mistake. But my legs refused to move. Yes , fear really set in. The doctor said the tube in the stomach is necessary for feeding from approx. week 4 as she can't be confident that I would accept the temporary tube through the nose to the stomach. She said most people are anxious etc but I am super-anxious. She told me that I am already not well and it hasn't even started. I need to pull myself together in preparation . 80% became 60% due to the fear. I do feel better this morning as I do respond well to information ( as the chemo said ) and most of the anxiety has gone. I am mentally preparing myself for treatment and then recovery. My focus now is stay well , have treatment , rest and recover and approx. September I will be back to normal and all this will be in the past. I am still planning my family holiday in December/Jan as normal. THIS WILL PASS.