As a mum with 3 small children, I have to be completly organised all the time. Organised to the point, where I can expect the unexpected.... wet undies in Westfields, bleeding nose at the fruit shop, cake mix in the pantry for playdates. But nothing in my nappy bag could have prepared me for the possibility that the weird looking lump on my head could be a melanoma, or that the little lump in my neck could mean it has spread. I had ignored the lump for some time. Although it seemed to have a life of its own, changing colour, bleeding and ooozing goo. But with the girls all under 5, I just didn't put my need to get it checked out a priority. On Wednesday, I will have a thin needle biopsy of the lymph node and the creature on my head to determine if what the Doctor suspects is true..... I have all the family history behind me to make it almost a sure thing that cancer would one day affect me, My mother died of bowel cancer in 2006. And nearly everyone on her side of the family has had a melanoma or two removed. And with this knowledge I have lived life in the shade, slathed in SpF 30+ and avoided being in the sun for extended periods. I am taking on board all the well wishes of friends who tell me that it won't be cancer and that the doctors have made a mistake. But the realist in me knows, deep down, that it does look bad. And that is ok, I can face the reality of cancer.... I just don't know if I can face my family and what it will do to them over the coming months. I don't know if seeing my mother's struggle has helped me gain perspective or given me insight. But I am quietly optimistic and know that within myself I have the drive to fight whatever comes my way. My motto has always been.. Live each day without Regret, you can get busy living or get busy dying. I know what I will choose....But what will you choose?
9 Comments
harker
Frequent Contributor
Loved the piece DeeDee, except for the regret bit. I have lots of 'em, and I'm proud of all of it. H
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Hi DeeDee Im Leesa and I know where your coming from. I am hoping that your Doc appointment is a non event but like me, I knew my lump in my neck lymph was my SCC coming back to haunt me from a year ago after a lip rotation op to remove the mongrel on my lip, ( I bit it, that was it). Funny, when they said it was back I just didnt really feel anything, a neck dissection later and just about to start radiotherapy tomorrow, I have cried tears, got angry, and now just ready to get it over with. My attitude is to keep in mind no matter what the radiotherapy does or gives me grief, it wont kill me, but the cancer will. I also have regrets, why didnt I go to the doc when I first bit my lip? Why was I so stupid. Oh well its done now, I cant change it, cant rewrite the past so I just have to suck it up as I know you will too if your cards dont go your way. This site is really good, full of wonderful people. Take care. Leesa
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Shell83
Occasional Contributor
Oi you 🙂 nice to see you here but not nice that you had to come here 🙂 you are one tough chicken and always have been! You'll kick ass. My yummy muscles (hahaha iPhone spell check, could have deleted it but then when have my tummy muscles ever been described as yummy - ill take what I can get!!) so my tummy muscles are still hurting from our convo the other night, even facing lifes biggest battle you almost made me pee myself 🙂 I've been thinking of you every day, my fingers are crossed for tomorrow, let Me know how you go, and of course goes without saying if there is anything I can do (or mum) please let us know Xoxoxo much love. P.s. have been wanting to catch up for ages, we didn't really need to go and get cancer in order to make time, we could have just made a play date like normal mummies do!!
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wombat4
Contributor
My wife like you, sunscreen,hat,long sleeves, very good at sun protection. She had a freckle on her arm for as long as I have known her. Elongated, not changing for about 40 yrs. I would say, I would like you to get it checked out, she was a GP and would tell me to mind my own business. Then one day instead of a nice light brown colour it went purpley, she would scratch it and it would bleed. I said we need to......., she got so irritated with my nagging she put a bandaid on it so that I wouldnt see it. Well that was it for me, GP I may not be, but a concerned hubby I certainly was. I threatend to call the police to speak to her to tell her to get me off their backs, how embarrassing for her, I said I would get a doctor to make a house call, and he would be annoyed as she was more than capable of going to the surgery. Well it worked, one look by the GP, a melanoma of the seeding, spreading type, out within days, with a decent margin, sat there for 40ys, ready to go now. Caught in time The very best of luck with yours wombat4
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DeeDeeandthe3
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Then I guess they are not regrets after all.... just lessons you hadn't learned yet.... thanks for the support.. Dee
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DeeDeeandthe3
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Then I guess they are not regrets after all.... just lessons you hadn't learned yet.... thanks for the support.. Dee
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DeeDeeandthe3
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We are far from normal mummies ** Giggle** Glad we have each other here... xx Dee
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harker
Frequent Contributor
that's a nice way of putting it.
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SILLY
Super Contributor
I hope if it is what is suspected that the treatment goes well for you. Someone I know has had many skin cancers and some quite dangerous.He had kept out of the sun most of his life. I believe that there are a combination of factors that cause cancer,one being bad luck.
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