Blogs - Page 82

It’s been a huge week for me – Thursday marked the 1st anniversary of my surgery, I had my one year check up with my oncologist the same day and then it was my birthday on Friday. Last year I was titless and off my face on painkillers for my birthday – this year I was just titless (well maybe just a little off my face). My family all flew in to join in the celebration with my friends. My gorgeous daughter organised an amazing party for me. I even managed to give up control and allowed her to organise the whole thing – I simply turned up.

Well I'm back. I've had some scans done and now it's in my other lung. It's not even a year since treatment for the other lung finished (that tumour has gone). I'm not even sure what to do this time. Do I just accept it? The kids are 15 and 13, I have majority care, their father isn't very supportive, in fact he has been telling people cancer is contagious (the frightening thing is people believe him). How hard do you fight when it's the third time in 3 years?

I was thinking more about my post about returning to work http://www.cancerconnections.com.au/content/work-and-cancer and remember back to when I resumed paid work after being a carer for 6.5 years.

Every night for a week I've been having massive 'death' nightmares. Most nights I dream that mum is dying again. Some nights I dream that dad is dying again. Last night I dreamt I was dying, then my brother in law, and then mum (all from cancer). They were three separate dreams all on the same night. I find myself going back to the 'why' questions after each nightmare - more "Why is this happening"; not so much "Why did this happen to my mother"; not anymore.

Well Pete's MRI was dissapointing, over 25% increase in tumour since last MRI. Now we move onto our next phase Avastin fortnightly and daily dex. Even with this crappy news Pete got up on Monday and off to work he went, god love his strength and will power.

I am a carer for my husband who had surgery and radiation for floor of the mouth cancer. The op was ok but the things they didn't tell us about radiation was a shocker.