worried and scared

[maddie86]

my fiance's cancer journey has been one big emotional hell of a ride.. im so over the stress, the worry, and whats to come.. i have lost so many friends over it, i feel so alone and empty... dont get me wrong, i wouldnt leave his side for a minute but i just wonder when i will ever feel 'normal' again.. my darling fiance is classified as terminal but has a real fighting spirit... i cant imagine whats to come.. it doesnt really hit me properly and im scared.. what happens if i cannot handle the end of it? what will happen if i go crazy? very worried about it all 😞

[purpleangels]

Hey Maddie! You can do it! Had a manic week myself.....Bob in bed all week and the kids were quite nut balls, but somehow I am still here on a saturday night and the kids are still here and we still like each other....... It is amazing what the human spirit can cope with. I was reading the Good Weekend magazine from a few weeks ago last night, and the tears were just racing down my face reading the Pip Coutenay story of how she lost her husband the cameraman in a helicopter crash.......it was so moving, but made me feel better (she explained how grief can make you lose your memory and that made me feel better).....sources of inspiration for me come from everywhere.....and I am becoming better at relying on others for help......the lady four doors down has been taking My six year old to school for me, a godsend, but I just had to put myself out there and ask her....she has no clue of what is happening in my house, but she was willing to help out...... I guess what I am trying to say is that at times you will doubt yourself, but just keep plodding on....you are doing a fabulous job!! And loyalty is a beautiful quality to have. I have lost count of the number of times people have told me I am so good to have held on for this long......they would have left a long time ago.....but as much as sometimes I have thought, this is it, I'm out......I haven't done it, I have found the strength and courage and stubbornness to go on...... And I love him..........the end......... Keep going kiddo! And happy Saturday night!!! PA

[purpleangels]

Hey Maddie! You can do it! Had a manic week myself.....Bob in bed all week and the kids were quite nut balls, but somehow I am still here on a saturday night and the kids are still here and we still like each other....... It is amazing what the human spirit can cope with. I was reading the Good Weekend magazine from a few weeks ago last night, and the tears were just racing down my face reading the Pip Coutenay story of how she lost her husband the cameraman in a helicopter crash.......it was so moving, but made me feel better (she explained how grief can make you lose your memory and that made me feel better).....sources of inspiration for me come from everywhere.....and I am becoming better at relying on others for help......the lady four doors down has been taking My six year old to school for me, a godsend, but I just had to put myself out there and ask her....she has no clue of what is happening in my house, but she was willing to help out...... I guess what I am trying to say is that at times you will doubt yourself, but just keep plodding on....you are doing a fabulous job!! And loyalty is a beautiful quality to have. I have lost count of the number of times people have told me I am so good to have held on for this long......they would have left a long time ago.....but as much as sometimes I have thought, this is it, I'm out......I haven't done it, I have found the strength and courage and stubbornness to go on...... And I love him..........the end......... Keep going kiddo! And happy Saturday night!!! PA

[maddie86]

thank you 🙂 you made me feel better! im with my six year old sister at the moment (yes big age gap mum had her when i was 18!) watching telly and its nice not to be doing much... she keeps me going, she's so innocent and cute... yes the memory thing would be good, i would like to forget the bad times.. i can still picture all the bad times though... it hasnt been pretty! i guess you have no choice but to keep going on and moving on.. i hate it when my partner has chemo because he's sick most of the week and i hate it! it feels sometimes like we are the only one's going through this but there a millions of other people in our situation! it helps to know that people have coped through such sad times...

[wombat4]

Just keep in there Maddie. Keep going for you and your fiances sake. This journey through cancer is like a nightmare for the sufferer and the carer. I cared for my lovely wife of 40yrs, dx with terminal colorectal cancer in 09 and finally took her 21 dec 11. age 58 I felt as if I was in a nightmare I couldnt wake up from. I look back on that time now, and it makes me feel good to be able to say to myself, that I loved her and cared for her as best I could. I gave up work, I accompanied her to all the appointments, rubbed cream into her feet to prevent the chemo side effect of dry skin for one hour every night for 2 yrs, cooked anything she wanted and could handle. There was nothing I wouldnt do, and now that she has gone in body, she is still with me in spirit, I talk to her constantly. My lovely wife may no longer be with me, but the love and companionship we had for each other is still there. this ratbag of a disease cannot take that away, ever. The friends that you have lost because of cancer, were they true friends, true friends would have stayed with you during this time. People do not like being associated with cancer, even the word frightens the hell out of them, and they backtrack as fast as they can. Be with your fiance as often as you can, hold his hand and tell him you love him. Be with him at the end. I was with my wife, I held her hand and told her I loved her. The most terrible moment in my entire life. But I was glad I was there. wombat4

[glenys48woods]

I know how it would be like to be scared as I had breast cancer in 2010 with having two lots of surgery. Lump out and a mastectomy on the right breast. My story is on line. It would be very hard to have the cancer terminal and I am not in this situation but hang in there. It is so mad and sad to lose all your friends over it as they don't understand. Do u know about this website? Breacan. It's a website to help women and they have a centre in the city of Melbourne for women. Glenys. xx

[SILLY]

Firstly ,I have not been through what you're going through. My suggestion is to try to stay in the present,not dwelling on the future ,nor the past. I realise this is all too easy to say so I'm only saying to try. Treasure the good times and share some happy moments that you'll be able to look back on . Take one day at a time.