Abusive patients

[Dizee12]

Hi,

This would be difficult. I would feel very sorry for the person in an abusive relationship already before the diagnosis.

My problem is a little different as I am having trouble with my partners brain fog.

He says I am abusive to him, I don't mean to be but I don't think he realises the stresses I am under with his illness and just day to day life and work.

I do think counselling should be part of the treatment.

[AlwaysMomasGirl]

My momma is a completely different person. I had traveled and taken 2 weeks off to help her and my father thru her last round of chemo. I had bought a one way ticket with plans to take however long she needed. I left just 3 days ago only after 2 weeks because I could not handle the emotional and mental abuse that she was causing myself and my father. I literally was afraid to be on my phone or try to hold a conversation with my father while there because she thought that we were conspiring against her. She would send him on several trips daily to the store to buy her food and then when we could cook it for her, she would say that it tasted horrible and refuse to eat it. She would intentionally be loud in the middle of the night to wake me up.  After I left she seeped to have a good day and now is back to throwing objects in the house, yelling at my father, and refusing to speak to my sister or I (my sis and I both live in different states than my parents). Any advice would be much appreciated 

[JR]

Hi,

I just posted something similar. My husband is currently battling terminal cancer, and I don't even know him anymore. He used to be loving and caring (for the most part), but now he is angry, cold, extremely withdrawn and doesn't seem to care about me at all. It is heartbreaking. Hugs!

[Bsnlsm]

Hi. I am feeling very trapped at the moment. I am a nurse and my husband was diagnosed with stage 2 lymphoma a couple of months ago. But he has been emotionally abusive for the past 2 years or more, criticizing me whenever the mood arises and assassinating my character. I also feel like when I am around that he exaggerates his symptoms in order to make me feel more stress. He doesn't let me express feelings at all about the situation, only his feelings are valid. He enjoys saying that I was cruel to him when he was sick because I got upset with him for being rude to me. It has gotten to the point that being around him gives me severe anxiety and I have been considering suicide because I know I can't leave him while he has cancer. I am also taking care of my mom who had a stroke in 2020 and is a total care and my dad with dementia. I have a 9 year old son too. But my husband gives me a hard time about leaving the house to take a break or see my friends. If I run errands he has to know where I am going and what time I am coming home. I don't know what to do. I am afraid staying in this marriage is going to kill me.

[Bsnlsm]

Yes, mean patients changed my nursing specialty from oncology to something else and now a mentally abusive patient has me ready to walk out on him.

[Bsnlsm]

My husband does these things too. Only he claims to love us and I am starting to hate him.

[Susana_CCNSW]

Hi  Bsnlsm,

I am sorry to hear  about the things you are going through,  you do have a lot going on in your life right now.

Thank you for reaching out, I would like to suggest calling the Cancer Council support line on 131120 , to talk and  find support. 

Kind regards 

susana

Online Community

[ClimbingTree]

You could try a regular counselor. You can talk about how you are being treated and get tools to help you with boundaries or not allowing it..

[ClimbingTree]

I hear ya.. similar thing going on ( has gone on ) with ,my husband ( he had a gr 4 glioblastoma) but now he’s almost back to normal, physically and mentally..
A therapist or counselor could help you sort out things and this might help you feel much better . They could help you on dealing with this situation..
Hope you get to a better place…don’t forget, you matter, too,

[Mischy]

My hubby has stage 4 bowel cancer. After a year of two different chemos there isn't anything else at the moment they can do and have given him 6-12mths. He is so cranky with me and this weekend had our daughters wedding and her anxiety made him cranky and he carried this through the whole day and into the week.  Like this was supposed to be his dream come true.  I'm just hanging in there because I know this is due to the prognosis and all the meds.  

I try not to retaliate but sometimes I have to tell him how upset I am. Of course that makes it worse.  

Anyway. Just wanted to tell a tiny bit of my tail