Advice? PoV?

[AAWHOIII]

Hi

4 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with astrocytoma grade 2 in the front left temporal lobe. She had an operation to remove the tumor followed by radiotherapy.

This year my wife, during her routine MRI, was told that the tumor may have returned. She's had surgery and is currently undergoing chemo (10 more months to go). The biopsy showed that the tumor had in fact not only returned but has been upgraded. It is an anaplastic astrocytoma grade 3. To make matters worse, on the last MRI they noticed an area of concern in the cerebrum but are waiting to see how it reacts to the chemo.

We have 2 young kids (7 and 8). They know mum is sick (and can sometimes forget things) and is taking medicine which causes her to be sleepy.

I know I shouldn't, but I have been Googling this type of cancer and the chances of recovery. The more I have read, the more scared I get. Scared for our future and kids potentially growing up without a mother.

If current treatment is successful, we may gain a few years before the tumor returns. Everything I have been reading shows the tumor will return and that there is a good chance that it will be upgraded when it does.

This is the only time in my life where I don't want an upgrade.

Despite what I have read, I'm trying to stay positive.

I don't think my partner fully understands what the diagnosis means. She is generally staying positive and continuing with her regular day to day routine. On the surface it seems like she has buried hear head in the sand.

She doesn't want to talk to anyone about it as she feels it is all in gods hands.

When I try and bring up the future and getting ready for "worst case scenario" we end up having an argument.

I don't know what else I can do. I don't want to be in the situation where she has only months to live and trying to navigate and map out everything from digesting the emotional implications and preparing an ACD through to plans for our kids future.

Sometimes I need a swift kick up the backside to reset my thinking. Am I being a realist or just too negative?

Sorry for the long post.

Has anyone else experienced this type of tumor? Either as a support person or lived through the tumor. I would love to hear your experiences and hear any advice.

[LindaG]

Hi, so sorry about your situation with your precious wife. Maybe you could talk to someone at the Cancer Council. They are really supportive and understanding. 🙏💜 Linda G 

[Wegotthis]

Hey my friend!!!

Don't be so hard on yourself!!!!

Your questions, feelings and concerns are justified. 

I have to agree with your wife about it being in God's hands. I feel the same way about me having cancer. But I'm going to do everything in my control to postpone my trip to heaven:)

I don't have any experience with what you and your family are going through. But as a husband I  can understand why you are going through up and downs with your emotions. 

Do you mind me asking what kind of support do you have dealing with all this. 

Are you working,taking care of the kids and wife alone?

I'm a firm believer in researching. But I also know that some people prove that the doctors aren't always right. 

Stay strong my friend. Don't beat yourself up if you feel negative sometimes. I have cried a few times myself because I just couldn't pretend everything was going great for me.