Hi, I am new to this site but looking for a place to vent before I explode. My lovely husband suffered a stroke which left him severely limited,I became his full-time carer. 6 months after his stroke he was diagnosed with bowel cancer which has spread to his liver and has been classed as 4th stage.The consensus seems to be that the changes created in his blood by the cancer caused the stroke. Along with our two grown children we have always been a fairly tight family unit, preferring to holiday and socialise as a family. We have found the most difficult thing to cope with has been having to make room for the extended family. Whilst we understand their desire to spend more time with my husband it seems that this 7 day a week access is taken for granted "because they are family". The courtesy does not seem to extend both ways and is particularly wearing when our sons, who are very close to their father, are pushed aside by others. In particular his family seems to be trying to re-instate old family bonds by reducing my husband to the baby brother or the youngest child. They will ask me personal questions about his treatment-in front of him like he is unable to understand the disease and treatment. While his speech has been compromised by the stroke his mental faculties are fine. Just recently one son and his father were having a heated discussion, this was a minor event between a father and son and was over as quickly as it started, however the "Family" matriarch
expressed the opinion that our son was disrespectful and regardless of the fact that his father was in the wrong should have held his tongue. While it sounds minor this has created a huge family conflict as I stood my ground and told them that the boys and their father are just getting on with life the way they always have and we refuse to treat my husband differently because of this illness. Is this type of conflict between extended family common or are our family just nutcases??